Hello, I don't use reddit much and wanted to try to seek help from other people like I've seen others use reddit to do so.
To expand on my question; I've got some mild awkward social skills and some mild phobias that interfere with my day to day social life. Like fear of heights so I can't go up building floors in a mall or up escalators or elevators. I live in a place where I speak a non-native language, so sometimes my poor grammer, accent, or pronunciation of words make me stick out when conversing with locals. I'm kind of shy or quiet because of that. My very close friend(s) asked me if they can help me, basically asking for consent to let me know if I did something "weird" or to help me with my fear of heights like walking with me up stairs or escalators in malls or other public buildings when we hang out. They said they feel bad that my phobias are preventing me from enjoying myself fully, which is true.
I was touched by their sincere care for me and I said yes, I'd love to improve and I trust my friends. That was a few weeks ago, but now I feel different. After a hang out, a social event, I later get texts about how I behaved weirdly, maybe I was too quiet, I didn't show enthusiasm or talk a lot, I "looked bored" or "looked pissed" when I thought I was being polite and listening to others at a social event/hang out speak. Now I feel like I am afraid to hang out with my best friends, one of whom I knew since as a child, because I feel I will incur more criticisms. It's making me feel really badly about myself. But I also quite literally asked for it.
I don't want to stop being friends with my friends, who so sincerely care about me, but I also feel terrible more and more often about their criticisms. Does anyone have any advice for me?