Hello,
This is really embarrassing to admit. My wife had been having a really terrible bout of depression earlier this year – like nearly hospitalized bad. Thank god things got better and she got stabilized on a combo of SSRI + a mood stabilizer. Sadly both these drugs completely killed her ability to orgasm. She saw her psychiatrist again made some minor adjustments but still no dice. She already used to only orgasm from PiV sex maybe 1/4 of the time but would never have a problem with oral. Now it's like never at all from PiV and from oral only sometimes. But even with oral now it takes a lot longer that she seems to get frustrated and stop me and ask to move on to PiV.
I've tried to talk to her about it when were not in the middle of it and she always says the same thing – that it doesn't bother her, that it still feels really good, and that she gets so turned on that she would rather move on to PiV than try and chase an orgasm with more oral.
I certainly know that stress would only compound the issue so I make sure never to add pressure or make it seem like I'm disappointed if she doesn't come but I'm honestly at a loss as to what to do. I hate making it about me but I feel like a bad husband and that she's only saying it's fine to spare my feelings. I asked her if she is still able to orgasm when she masturbates and she said yes but it takes a lot longer than it used to so I suggested me using a toy on her which has helped some but she still seems to get impatient or frustrated. She also only owns one small vibe so I suggested we go out together and I buy something for us to use but she is too shy.
Anyone deal with this before? Any suggestions on what to do (or what kind of toy would be best haha)? Or do I just take her at her word that she still enjoys it and ride it out for 6-18 months until her psychiatrist says it's okay to come down off her meds.