I'm 37. I have been married for 8 years. My wife and I got married after 4 years of dating and we are the same age. We dont have childrens. When we were flirting, she would come to my house every week for just sex even i didnt ask for it. When we got married, we had an same active sexual life in the first 2 years even I was away from home for going frequently business trips. But she was very unhappy because I was away from home for business trips. Then I change my job for a remote position. At the beginning, we were having sex at least 1-2 times per week. Then by the time a ridiculous period starts where we couldn't even have sex once a month. I am talking about a 5-year period in which we had sex maybe once time per a month.
5 years with zero expectation of sex… Because she was experiencing various depressive periods due to corona, family problems, periods of unemployment, etc. But I was always there for her. I was helping her family problems while even i neglect my own family. During the times when we had serious financial difficulties, I covered everything, including her personal debts, household expenses, etc. When she returned to work, I was doing all the chores around the house, including cooking in the evenings because I was working from home. Grocery, dishes, laundry, cargo returns… I thought that the less stress and fatigue she has, the faster he will come out of these depressive periods. But sex continued 0-1 times a month.
Just when I thought everything was starting to end, 3 years ago I became a very workaholic person. I got promotions and became very financially comfortable, but I started to not be able to take care of myself. I gained weight and my social life decreased to zero. Just ambition to work… During this period, I started traveling abroad every month with my wife. For some reason that I don't understand, we have moved on to periods where we make sex almost every day in hotels for a 10-day trip.
This year we have almost had no sex except holidays. I'm talking about a person that hits me in the face every 3 weeks of the month when something is missing from the chores I do, who is too lazy to get up when she wants tea and asks for it from me, and who gets angry when I don't brew it. I am someone who covers all expenses, such as home, vacation, etc., but I cannot even spare time for myself. On the other hand my wife is a very well-groomed and charming person who spends what she earns on herself. Socially, she does not fall behind in anything. But when we were at home, she only spends time with books and TV. I wake up for working and fall asleep in the my office room at home. It can be said that the beds are separated.
Then monthly holiday week comes and we get on the plane and my wife's libido changes completely. We have hot experiences in hotels, as if we were having a one-night stand with someone else. So my perception of reality is distorted, I wonder if this person is really my own wife…
My friend recently got divorced. He said that his wife of 10 years only filled his free time with TV, etc., that she confined every joint responsibility to himself, and that they divorced because they were not sexing anymore.
I couldn't get over it. I don't want a retirement marriage as like the age of 70's .I spoke with her my struggle. She explain that she is too lazy to make love. she has energy for everything except me, but she is tired for sex. But we travel to 3 countries in 7 days and are not tired at all at the hotel in the evenings for the sex…
I need your advices and comments. Thanks.