so i’m in a bit of a dilemma at the moment. whenever i make a super close “best friend” we have a time period where we’re inseparable but then after that time they find someone else and become their “best friend” while still assuring me that we’re the same as before. in my eyes they just get bored and find someone else to become close with. i’ve had this happen so many times in my life and i can’t tell if it’s me or if its them.
i do have to add that i have avoidant attachment so i might be subconsciously pushing them away, but whenever i do it i feel guilty and apologize. i can never really seem to get as close to someone as i see others doing, but i genuinely cant tell what the problem is. might just be my friends growing apart from me but its just sad to see all of my friendships turn from best friend to acquaintance and it’s happening again in real time so this time i want to try and find some answers. i have confronted my friend about this but she denies it and says i’m still her best friend even though i can feel that we have drifted since she became friends with someone else.
also had to add; i am really aware of people after being close with them and i know everything about them, when they usually know nothing about me after a long time of being close friends. sometimes when i find out too much about them i start to resent them but then bottle up my emotions as to not ruin the friendship. this may be the problem but honestly no one has even noticed if i ever resented them.
ive had one friend who ive gotten past the “resentment” stage with, but it was when we were very young so we just stuck together, though we arent really close since we go to different schools now.
sorry if this is the wrong subreddit to post this in!