How do you find the will to continue putting yourself out there only to be let down in one way or another?
I've been in 3 long term relationships.
1 – from 16/17 to 25
2- 25-26
3- 26-32
None of these panned out in the end and at this point I work from home as a software developer. The 3 girls I met were all at the place where I worked and they sort of just fell into my lap. It gave me a way to interact with them that didn't feel forced and wasn't automatically a "I'm approaching her with the intent to maybe date her" vibe. It's a much more organic thing that can develop naturally without any pressure which I very much prefer.
I very recently came back in contact with my first ex(she reached out to me after almost a decade) and I thought things might be going somewhere but she basically just said she's not feeling the attraction physically/mentally even after giving nothing but mixed signals for almost a month and I cut it off because I can't deal with that.
I'm really feeling jaded and uninterested in trying to find someone new to talk to. Dating apps are a fucking disaster and working from home I no longer have access to a pool of women to interact with and see if something happens. I go out with my brother and my friends on weekends for food/drinks but there's rarely opportunity to meet someone here either. And even if there was, I'm not the type to approach someone in that setting.
I feel like I've reached the end of the rope when it comes to dating for myself specifically and idk what to do about it. I want someone to go through life with but my opportunities have shrunk to near zero and it's just not my personality to go out and "find" someone on my own. Talking to my first ex made it painfully obvious to me that I'm craving that type of connection again but I just feel like it's not for me. I'm tired of having my heart broken or breaking someone else's heart. Wtf do I do? 😩