Are there different schools of thought or camps people identify with when it comes to improving social skills?
For example, one could be the camp of: just get a ton of social exposure and you’ll learn automatically.
Another could be: there are specific skills you need to deliberately practice, like rehearsing conversation openers, memorizing stories and jokes to tell, deliberately mirroring body language etc.
Another could be: there’s nothing wrong with you, your current social behavior is the appropriate reaction to social threats, don’t try to override your natural defense mechanisms.
Are there more like this that you know of?
3 comments
learning to talk is not some thing which can be taught. even communications graduates can tell you that. its something which can only be experienced. when i was in college i remember having to attend my girlfriend’s orator events. not for a grade but literally practice to speak in an audience. she even had to speak in another language to people shes never met for some of her classes.
communications skills are mostly learned through experience.
Cool question & a good one. Try stoicism, the sacred art of self knowledge, general positivity, and practicing different vibes when talking to women
One of my personal rules of thumb is to follow the 85% rule, which applies to any skill you want to learn basically. You want to regular be in a social context and have a social goal such that 15% of the time you are making an “error”. You need to make errors to get better at anything, but not so many errors that you get demoralized.
As for what the goal you are looking for is, self help books are helpful for finding good ones. Also just studying how other people converse.