My partner (23M) tells me (23F) that I’m wasting his time and controlling his life, what should I do?

Me and my partner have been living together for 4 years, and recently we both have been busy, I returned to studying full time this year and he works full time in long shifts. I feel like we haven't been spending a lot of quality time together, but every time he comes home from work he just wants to decompress, be on his phone, game with his bros, not do any housework, and fall asleep on the couch immediately after dinner. I've told him countless times I hate him sleeping on the couch straight from work before showering, but he never listens and says I'm controlling him on how he wants to spend his time after work, he full-on throws a tantrum every time this happens, at least 3 times a week. Eventually, it became to the point where everything I asked him to do around the house he complained that it was a waste of his personal time, he just wanted to do his thing and not have me bother him, it has been a burden to be the one to mentally take on all the responsibilities around the house, take care of the pets, while I have to study full time on the side with barely enough sleep too. On his days off, he just wanted to sleep, game, and be on the phone watching YouTube videos, he promised me he would do some housework, but ends up doing it right before bedtime or having me ask him again and again during the day, where he will say he will do it eventually. I've tried to talk to him but every time it ends in us arguing, I say he's not helpful and sharing responsibilities, and he says I'm controlling and wasting his precious time off from work, this has been going on for so long I don't remember when it began, we have been arguing at least every other day. I feel like we barely spend quality time together, I don't care what we are doing as long as we are doing it together it feels like we are at least sharing something in common, he doesn't agree with that, I always initiate "the talk", he says it is a waste of time talking this out, because he could have been doing his own thing during the time we've been talking, and I'm controlling his life because I'm asking him to do this and that around the house. We rarely go on dates due to financial restrictions and not having days off together, we love to be on dates but going out spending money and draining our wallets makes us both upset and argue even more, our needs and definition of alone and together time are so different I don't know how to cope with it anymore.