Without going into too much detail as this post would be VERY long, I have been seeing this Woman for a few months and have been talking to her for a year at this point and she is also one of my ex girlfriends ex best friends (I say ex best friend because they are no longer friends and are not on good terms at all from what I’ve been told).
We see each other once a week usually on Friday or Saturday and two weeks ago we spent three hours together, went for a walk, got some food, just talked about all kinds of things and I gave her some small gifts to show I care about her (nothing extravagant or overly expensive). Everything went well.
The following two days we messaged each other as usual and she let me know that she was planning to go see her Father one day in the following week, so I asked questions about her parents because she said “My Fathers anniversary”, and she told me that he passed away when she was 7 and she hasn’t been to go see him in a while.
The next day after I got off work at 2am, she ended up messaging me around 4am and we talked for a bit, flirty stuff, nothing serious and then I went to bed. However, later that day after I woke up, she was texting me about how upset she was and how stressful her day is at work, how she has cried 3 times and just wanted her day to be over so she could go home.
I was trying my best to be supportive, gave encouragement, told her she can talk to me about how she is feeling and about what is bothering her and so on. She told me “it’s kinda personal”.
So, it came time for me to go to work again so I left her a voice message saying that that I care about her and I’m here if she needs to talk and while I know what she is dealing with is personal, that sometimes it’s easier not to go through things alone and that I will try to message her whenever I have free time at work.
Check my phone two hours later and she blocked me (we talk on messenger). I got a friend of mine to message her on my behalf to tell her I’m concerned and to ask why she blocked me and her response a few days later was this, “Hey. Just tell him I’m sorry. I really am. He didn’t do anything, he’s a sweet guy that deserves so much better.”
I got my friend to send her two more messages from me but more or less I just said that I care about her and have been here to support and listen to her before and still am now. Said not to tell me that I deserve better and that I think she is perfect and for her to take whatever time she needs to deal with everything and that I will be here whenever she is ready.
Something I should add is that this isn’t the first time she has pulled back. Last September she stopped messaging me and replying to me for a week and then a few weeks later, did the same thing and disappeared for 4 months.
We have talked about that and I have joked about how I hope she doesn’t disappear again and she has said that she’s been told by friends that she disappears sometimes and has joking said it’s something she is good at.
Now, I just don’t know if she is highly emotional right now and dealing with a lot of stresses in her personal life (she is dealing with some stuff that I don’t want to get into) and she actually thinks she is a burden on me or what but every time we see each other, we have gotten more and more close.
Perhaps she is an avoidant? I don’t know but I have been feeling a bit down about the whole situation and I can’t really ask my friend if she has replied to my last message cause my friend is away on her honeymoon right now.
Any thoughts?