I (26F) have been in a friends with benefits relationship with this guy (29M) for three months. We met on Tinder back in February and quickly decided after two fun dates that we wouldn’t be pursuing anything serious. So we have been seeing each other every 2-4 weeks and not talking very much in the time between meetings. This upset me a little in the beginning but I got used to the fact that I wouldn’t be getting the attention that I want from this guy. He disappeared for a few days a couple of times, not reading my messages but always came back with an apology and saying that it’s not in his intentions to ghost me. I told him that I hope he doesn’t do that and if he ever feels like he doesn’t want to keep hanging out the best thing he can do is tell me. He also said in another conversation once that he doesn’t want to hurt me.

Now I feel like he has done both — ghosted me and hurt me. He asked me to hang out a bit over a week ago and we made plans to do so but he had to cancel due to family stuff. I was okay with it, although my initial reaction was disappointment but I told him that I understood the situation. After this he said that we would have to hang out another time, to which I didn’t reply because 1. I wanted to give him space since he was with his family and 2. because I didn’t know what to say to that, so I would come back to that later. Three days later I texted him asking if he wanted to try again this week. He usually takes his time to reply but he usually does within a day. This time I didn’t hear back from him for a week, even after sending another message, which got me really upset and I have been crying for days over it, up to the point that I decided to block him today.

Important to know here: this relationship has had a time limit since the beginning, because I’m leaving the country in three weekd and likely won’t see him again because I’m going permanently to another country. This was supposed to be the last time we hang out and say good bye but since to me it looked like it’s not going to happen I got really upset and just blocked him.

I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and wait for him to reply because I don’t know what is going on in his life, but I’ve done that two times before and just got tired of this treatment. I really wanted to see him one more time because we have a lot of fun when we are together, but I guess I had to make this for myself because the situation wasn’t good for me. Did I do the right thing? I don’t know if I’ve made the right decision by cutting him off completely.

3 comments
  1. Yes, you did the right thing for you

    As for him, I’m not sure he will even notice

    fwb is not for you.

  2. Hey,

    I think you did the right thing here. FWB can be difficult if you catch feelings, which by the sounds of it, I think you may have.

    Given that you are leaving very soon, I’d say try to leave it and move on. If he is hurting you with the way he’s acting now, them there is no point it hanging on to this for abit of fun.

  3. I think when somebody is making you feel more bad than good, it’s ok to say goodbye. Hope your move goes smooth. Haven’t had one yet where I didn’t lose/break somethin

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like

Best friends

“Best Friends” P.s long story.. 2014 i met this lady named alex and we became really good friends..lets…