Me (27 F) and my friend (29 F) were at the local grocery store getting a drink, enjoying the family friendly atmosphere, when two older men (easily 45+) sat at the same table as us. Mind you, there were two empty tables next to us. Her back was turned to them, but I saw those men blatantly staring at her from like 2 feet away. Even after I looked at them, they just continued staring. Annoyed and a bit unsettled, I looked away and continued talking to my friend. One of the men was loud and sounded inebriated, which is definitely not the intention of the store, since there is a three drink limit.
My friend and I wrap up conversation and head out to the parking lot to leave in our respective cars and end up chatting for another 15 mins or so when a man comes up from behind me and inserts himself nearly between my friend and I. I realize it's the older, inebriated man from our table in the store and he says, "What, you're still talking to each other!? Are you friends?" To which my friend says yes. I would have thought that answer was obvious to him.🙄 Then he says, "How long have you been friends?" My friend again answers. This is when I've had enough and ask the man incredulously, "Are you good to drive?" Don't mistake this as me offering to Uber him. He just leers at me and say of course he is. That's when I lean over, give my friend a hug, tell her I'll see her soon and part ways, obviously done with this intrusion from the strange man. My car is parked opposite my friends and as I cross the row I see the man approach the passenger door to my firend's car as she's getting in. Pausing I prepare to intervene, when the man just leans over and waves at her through the glass and then shuffles away. I get in my car and wait to make sure he's still moving along and she's safely in her car before I even contemplate leaving the parking lot.
This was around 5 pm, daylight aside it was still not a great experience. Sad too, because I had told my friend that getting a drink there was a safe place for us.
So tell me, if my friend and I were 20 something year old males, had these guys staring at us and then one followed you into the parking lot, would men find this behavior normal? Would they assume that trouble was about to ensue? Does this type of approach seem "friendly"? I know not all men are like this, but you can't tell me anyone is delusional enough to think approaching anyone, especially women, in such a manner is okay. My boyfriend would have told the guy to F off. Unfortunately the type of men who approach women like that guy did us today are the type to likely respond aggressively to a female telling them to go away.
Was this the best way to handle that situation? If not, could someone give advice a female can use in these situations.
Alternatively, how can older men approach females of all legal age and not come off like this guy did? I read too much stuff on Quora today after Googling to see what explanations/excuses there were for this type of behavior and it's prevalence and I'm kind of disgusted by what I found.