I started working at an engineering firm a couple years ago after graduating. The role was in the power/utility industry mainly doing construction projects. I got a sense of what it was when I applied but didn’t really know until starting here. I was always curious about this space and took the offer since it offered more than a traditional stem path with a large defense contractor. Little did I know, I hated the work and it made me miserable. There was a lag in workload and instead of staying in lala land I made a shift into another department doing similar things for a different team based out of state. Today the lead gave me a performance review which wasn’t good and essentially made me feel like I’d be let go soon or just makes me want to quit.
I’m stuck between scylla and charybdis. I don’t find this work rewarding, mentally stimulating, or even worth doing. It’s just a paycheck that mostly goes to rent. I like my living situation but honestly it doesn’t feel worth it. Everyday and weekend I’ve been applying to jobs non stop in the hopes I’ll get an interview to get hired somewhere else. I regret not taking the other offer and letting so much time pass by in a field I come to find I have no interest in. They kept telling me to study on my free time and work harder to get the same answers as others, but it just repulsed me more than usual. Part of me wants to put in my two weeks, move back in with my parents, and take my time finding a new job that’s a better fit. Another part of me wants to just let it slowly crumble until they lay me off. I don’t want to be a quitter but I think this mentality is what’s kept me here longer than I should’ve been. Really need advice here as it’s affecting my sanity.