Hello. I have had something on my mind and finally I’m asking.
I am F(29) and my boyfriend M(30). We have a vibrant sex life. It’s passionate, drive is high, it’s the best both of us have ever had and we are very in love with each other. We are vocal about this, so I’m not doubting his enjoyment. We have been together 1 year so far.
I just have a curiosity about why he usually doesn’t look at me during sex. I notice in doggy or positions where I’m turned away, he will be looking…and using the visual aid – but missionary or if I’m on top, his eyes are closed or his head is buried down. Preferred position between us are missionary positions and his head is down, he rarely looks at me.
I feel like he’s going to outer space, thinking of something else and he’s not fully there with me.
Then I just create stories in my head that he’s fantasizing about women from his past.
I have thought of ways to bring it up to him, but I’ve hesitated because I just want him to be free during intimacy, I don’t want to be stared at if I asked for it lol, only if it’s genuine.
Also random detail, last night he said he wants me to wear a dark brown/black wig and costume design is a hobby of mine and he knows I love dressing up but I couldn’t help but think to myself “why” lol:..if he’s not even gonna look at it. 💀
Am I being self aware or reaching? What are the likely reasons this happens?
Or does anyone have a similar concern?
UPDATE: Y’all 😂 Im loving the response. To clarify – I don’t want to gaze I to his eyes during sex! I also find it a bit awkward, for a prolonged period of time. I just find him sooooo hot and enjoy watching him fck me, so when I notice 95% of the time he’s not looking at me, I just project a want for him to reciprocate and naturally wonder what could be going on.
Also, I notice him tilting his head back and closing his eyes when I’m on top too, like i said _^