Hey
I don't feel anything at parties—no fun, no enjoyment, no excitement, nothing. I don't drink or smoke, and never have. When I go to parties with friends, whether it's at a club or a birthday celebration, I feel like an empty shell. I don't get the urge to dance or feel the rhythm of the music.
I graduated college a year ago, and although my college friends knew about my feelings, they were incredibly sweet and still invited me to parties. However, an internal monologue always runs through my mind. Since I don't actively participate in dancing or other activities, I end up feeling like the odd one out. I can't help but feel that my lack of participation dampens the enjoyment for others, and I feel guilty about it.
My friends often try to include me, inviting me to dance and join in the fun, but when I do, I just stand there awkwardly. To preserve their fun, I've consciously decided to stop attending parties. While this works for casual friend gatherings, it's problematic for events that involve me or are organized by me.
Do you have any suggestions on what I should do?
(Used AI cuz my English is trash and what I wrote myself would have been unreadable for others)