I’ve been trying to lose weight now for a while and it’s more likely now that I’ve graduated college and have more time on my hands, but I’ve come to a bad realization, I’m not really doing it to be healthy or “for myself” (I’m not really insecure about being kind of fat) the only thing on my mind is to do it to attract more attractive women.
Im a little ashamed of that, I’ve been on dates with a few women now which was a new thing for me and the girls that were even a little overweight just don’t interest me. I’m not even interested in a 2nd date and it takes effort to even text a “I don’t feel a spark” text afterwards.
It’s a double standard, I can’t like an unattractive woman but my weight problem makes me unattractive, therefore it doesn’t really make sense for me to expect attractive, in shape women to match with me online or other ways.
I guess what I’m trying to get at is this a reasonable thing to do or to believe?
I think this would be the best chance to improve my dating life because I’m not ugly (facial features, ETC) and I think I’m funny, successful and educated, friends, and I really don’t see any shortcomings in myself besides the weight, and it’s only 50-70 extra pounds.
Your guys thoughts?
20 comments
Do it. Best thing I ever did. People treat you like a new person.
U should lose the weight regardless of girls.
Some benefits I found from it.
Willingness to move more
Girls giving you compliments
Dudes giving you compliments
Better sleep
Better health
Less stomach problems
Better skin
More strength
Waaaaay better sex life
And way better sex
U also enjoy food more.
Less pain
In general more happiness.
It’s honestly just benefits. It’s a struggle to reach but at some point it’s actually a good thing that it is. It builds character.
I did it for many reasons but dating was one of them. I felt I needed to hold the same standards for myself as those I was attracted to. Losing weight definitely helped. It also made my life better in so many other ways. So basically go for it! There’s no wrong reason to get healthier.
Lose the weight. Mating is not a superficial calling, it’s how everyone alive became that way, it’s not misguided to try your hardest. You expect someone trim so be trim yourself. Forget all the “you should do it for you” bullshit because you are doing it for you.
Reasonable, but you’ll probably come to like being fit if you achieve it. Either way, being healthy is always good
I see no issue with you. I wouldn’t shut yourself out because possibilities are endless, and you have the possibility of find someone with a mutual attraction.
I can say I started out the same process with the same mindset. However, as I went along I cared less and less for the theoretical future person. I played some Read Dead Redemption 2. Now my goal is to look good wearing suspenders.
Almost any reason to want to better yourself is a valid reason
Yeah i wouldn’t go out with an overweight guy and i know most fit girls wouldn’t. It’s the best thing you can do, i promise.
50-70 pounds is a LOT.
You should definitely lose the weight, even if it is just for attracting a partner. The benefits of not being obese are endless and extend into many aspects of your life. Also real talk, you say you’re carrying 50-70 extra pounds, I’m not sure how being that overweight doesn’t bother you, just genuinely curious.
that’s why I lost weight. made my life so much better in every category, not just dating
Whatever it takes to motivate yourself to get fit.
Doing something good for the wrong reasons is still.good.
I mean, you get to see who really is that shallow, but… we already know lots of people are shallow, just not which ones. Avoid people you already know and you’re good.
I think it’s ultimately worth it regardless of your motivations because the end result is it makes you healthier.
I didn’t want to be hypocritical since I was more attracted to slim women, so I wanted to be sure I was a healthy weight too. That was my motivation. I am now within 10 lbs of the healthy BMI range and still haven’t gotten any dates, lol, so the weight thing is not the be all end all, I’ll warn you.
Lose the weight, but find a way to do it for yourself. That is the only way to get and keep motivation.
If your reason is only to attract an attractive, fit woman, I predict you put it back on after finding a solid relationship. Hopefully after you lose it you find other benefits to maintain it. It would be silly to put in all that work for nothing
Gonna get downvoted but unless you are extremely obese, being fit isn’t going to suddenly get a bunch of women interested in you
Literally most superficial things we do in life are because we want to attract the best possible “mate”
There’s nothing wrong with your goal being losing weight and getting fit because you want to date fit people
“only 50-70 extra pounds”
If it’ll help motivate you [this is what 1 lb of fat looks like](https://i.imgur.com/HyNpJbq.png). You’ll look like a different person.
I did it for myself but i went from hovering around 98-100kg to hovering around 75-78kg. it’s worth it, it even makes mountain bike riding easier, it makes your balance better there’s too many positives not to do it.
Biggest advice i can offer is cut back on as much sugar as you can especially avoid drinking store bought orange apple juices and etc because those are loaded with sugar.