I feel really lonely a few hours out of the day. Right now I’m 17 and on the summer holiday. I return to an alternative school setting for this college I go to in a few weeks. I really want make new friends someplace new, especially someplace where I could sign up for a few weeks instead of some sort of drop in event because I feel like just a day at some sort of event isn’t enough to get someone to like me.
I’ve tried going to Christian and Mormon churches, they can be really kind but they’re also a bit older than me. The people I talk to are married and have kids. Secretly I don’t believe in God or the doctrine. I’ve gone working with my dad doing logistic work but it’s a job and the other people are older too. I go to the gym and parks regularly but I’ve never gotten into a conversation with people at those places, apparently people online say it’s taboo because going to the gym or park is “me time”, respectfully. I have autism so it’s especially hard to know when to catch somebody at the right time. Being autistic just means that my emotional connection with other people is off, I’m not good at feeling “vibes”, but I can easily handle a logical instruction to what I should and shouldn’t do. But despite that I believe the only problem is that I don’t have an opportunity to meet people close to my age, only people much older than me, whether that be churches, jobs, meetup groups, volunteer opportunities or hiking groups. I feel like this deep feeling of loneliness I feel everyday will go away if I can just find an outlet with people close to my age.
I’ve read the advice that you should meet people through common interests over and over again. I mean it when I say I don’t have hobbies easy to share. Different types of cooking and general exercise and wellness routines is most of what I like to do in my free time. I don’t know what kind of activity would be better suited.
I used to be close with my older cousins. I loved having movie nights, eating random food together, leaving the house for a little bit even if it was just a walk down the street, playing a video game then quitting mid round, having people to celebrate the holidays with. Nowadays I’m just with my mom and stepdad and they do not spark joy. Mom has ADHD and she gets major irritability issues I think are uncalled for and my stepdad brings a lot of drama with this custody battle and gets in a bunch of conflict with my mom. I really want somebody to replace the role of one of my older cousins.