My whole life I've been considered "gifted". All throughout school I always scored 95th or higher percentile on all standardized tests, I was in accelerated math and science classes, and I got good grades when I would try. My community college offers a program where juniors and seniors in high school can take all their classes at the college and get both high school and college credits, so when you graduate you can have 2 years worth of college credits already and I was in that. COVID hit mid junior year and from then on, I failed every single class, dropped out of college, and graduated high school a month late.
After I graduated I took the auto repair program at the college since I've always been interested in cars and am an enthusiast. During the program I got a good job at a repair shop in my city and have now worked there almost 3 years. I'm making 65k a year, and with my pay plan it can get a lot higher if I can stay constantly busy.
Shortly after graduating the auto program last year one of my friends, my at the time girlfriend, and I started renting a townhome together and our lease is coming to an end soon. My ex and I broke up about a month ago after being together for almost 5 years.
I'm closing on a house this Thursday half an hour outside the city. It's in great shape but the mortgage plus utilities and insurance will be about 70% of my take home pay so I'll be house poor after the house payment and other bills and debt I have. None of my friends want to move half an hour away with me, so I'm gonna be stuck with it by myself but I planned for that so it will be manageable.
I'm 6'1" 190 lbs, in good shape, I have a high school diploma, college diploma, a pretty decently paying job, I'm buying a house on my own, I have a good social life, and I'm happy with where I'm at in life. I just feel like I'm missing out on something and I cannot put my finger on it. I'm not sure if it's depression or anxiety or something else but I just feel like I should be happier. I've planned to make some lifestyle changes when I move to my new house to keep me busier and improve myself but there's kinda this deep down FOMO that's always bothering me. Do any of you men understand what I'm talking about at all? Is this just a normal part of becoming a self sufficient adult?