My partner (27M) and I (28F) have been together for about 8 years, but since he stopped working I am concerned about his mental health. Would really appreciate any advice on how I can best support him!
Approx. 2 years ago we made the decision for my partner to stop working. He has Crohns disease, autism and anxiety, which all together made work simply too stressful for him. Luckily I have a decent paying WFH job so we are doing fine financially.
My main concern is his mental health and co-dependency. While we have largely worked through his feelings of inadequacy related to being unemployed, he is struggling with a sense of purpose and enjoying his newfound freedom. I think a lot of this is due to his autism.
Every day he openly tells me he sleeps in as late as he can, then just "sits around waiting for me to finish work" so we can do something together. He says those hours waiting for me to finish work are like torture.
He takes it very personally when I am forced to travel for work and be away from him, often not eating in my absence. We had a bit of a tense evening last night as I have booked 2 days off to visit my parents and I haven't booked any days off recently to spend with him.
We are both home birds and so we have a wealth of hobbies and activities for him to enjoy solo while I am working/away from home (pool table, piano, Warhammer models, videogames, card games etc.) but he says he simply has no motivation to do anything unless I am beside him. He will only play his piano when I am available to listen, will only make a Warhammer figure if I am doing it with him etc.
While this is hardly the worst problem in the world, I am finding it exhausting finishing work and having to hear him say how bored he is with all his free time, and almost feeling like a carer directing him to an evening activity that might help him feel better. It also means I get no time to enjoy any of my own solo hobbies.
Would really appreciate any advice on how to navigate this or to understand his thought process!
Edit to clarify: Although I say we both decided for him to stop working, it hit the point where he was put on Sick Pay and then his pay was stopped entirely due to his inability to work. We were already saying his working situation was unsustainable, so the sick pay letter was essentially the nail in the coffin for him to stop.