Re: Original post
Hello fellow Redittors!
First of all, I want to thank all of you for taking the time to read my post. And all of you who has replied with concern. I never thought of seeking so much attention (being the introverted person I am, I felt kinda uneasy!), but I have to admit, in all honesty, it felt really good to be supported like this.
I will add that, although I do most of the house work, he does help. And when he does help and I thank him, he mentions that at least he feels like he's contributing.
So… Yesterday I dropped a word to my husband, asking him to really think about what I'm asking. And that I thought that his reaction was a bit excessive. Later, he called me back to tell me that he was sorry that he reacted that way, and that it was a knee-jerk reaction to what I had said. He said there was no reason to stop me from going, really. It's just that he finds that I've been lagging behind with my household tasks and that "Correlation is not causation", but he had the impression that my cello playing was a factor.
I told him that the kids are home _all the time_ and that it's 5 (4 kiddos + 1 working husband) against 1 when it comes to keeping the house clean. The main floor is always clean, the washrooms are washed, I've been doing some decluttering here and there. I'm sooo not up to date with my laundry because ouf, I'm exhausted. Not to mention that it's all fine and dandy when we go camping, but who preps *everything* for camping? The who cleans the tent, washes and dries the tarpaulin afterwards? Does all the camping laundry? I think it's unrealistic for him to think I can do all that without feeling overwhelmed. That cello-playing has been my release as opposed to the cause of my lagging behind. It's what keeps me sane and prevents me from breaking down (and strangling him /j).
He said there's no real reason for me to not join, but that, in the end, I will be dumping whatever I do on Saturday morning on him, that he would have to do what I was supposed to do. (But in my head, I know for sure he won't do anything until I get back, anyways).
I told him that he could take this opportunity to play Civilization 6 with the kids without feeling guilty. Whatever he choses, I'll support him. But, I'm joining my orchestra. 🙂
Again, thank you all for reminding me of my value and who I am. Virtual hugs to all!