I Split up from my partnerafter living together for around 2 years about 6 months ago. Overall had a great relationship but over the last few months we ended up arguing daily, which led to her deciding to split up from me and move out (which I respect bc we were both starting to resent one another for no good reason). I absolutely adore the women inside and out and after a couple months started seeing her every 1-2 weeks since she moved out (she would contact me asking if she could pick stuff up and would end up staying the night- I kind of knew her intentions and came up w/ a few excuses myself).
I kind of realised that it wasn’t healthy for us both to keep seeing one another so I told her that despite still loving her/ missing her (we don’t say that stuff lightly) I need to block her so that I can move forward with my life. She burst into tears and said that she doesn’t know what she’d do without me and asked if we could start seeing each other again (casually and “see what happens”). For whatever reason I caved and now we are supposed to go on some dates every week/fortnight. Don’t get me wrong I’m looking forward to seeing her, I just can’t shake the feeling that she is just seeing me so that she feels less lonely while she parties and actively seeks someone else out. Have communicated this to her and she just says that she’s not interested in that at all. What should I do?! Do I keep seeing her or do I double back and commit to cutting her out. I hate doubling back on my word and feel really insincere. I joined a dating app but am honestly rlly monogamous and deleted bc I felt like I was doing the wrong thing, even though I know she has done the same. At the same time, we get along like peas and carrots and if we could make it work long term it would be great!
Sorry this is just coming off as a rant just don’t rlly talk about this stuff to anyone and feel a little lost in what I should do now.