I (25f) have been dating my bf (25m) for 8 months. It's been going really well the last 2-3 months, though we haven't really had about long term/future conversations yet. We come from different ethnic backgrounds, which I don't care about. We're also both straight, but bf does have some mannerisms that are less "traditionally masculine" – which has led to friends who have met him to question/comment on his sexuality. I'm not specifically attracted to the "less masculine" traits, but I don’t comment on it because that's just who he is.
I wouldn't care if he was bi (and if he was gay I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with him, but I'd still be happy to be his friend) though he says he's not attracted to men at all. His family also isn't religious or conservative and wouldn't care if he was gay so I don't think there's any reason for repression here. At first I didn't really care when friends questioned/commented on it and even thought it was kind of funny, but especially as our relationship progressed, now it feels a little hurtful. Also, to clarify, it's mostly not my close friends making these comments to me, but more casual friends/acquaintances talking and it getting back to me. I've never brought up these comments to my bf because I'd imagine they could be hurtful to him too.
I live across the country from my family. My mom and dad are visiting with my aunt (who lives out of country and I'm not close to) will be visiting soon. They're staying with me and they haven't met my bf yet, so I'm debating whether to ask them if they want to. I'm closest to my mom so she's the one I'd want to meet my bf the most, though my bf and my dad probably have more in common/to talk about (similar field of work, cars, etc).
The only real hesitation I have is that my family is pretty conservative. My mom is religious and privately makes all the judgmental comments associated with mild racism and homophobia. She doesn't like the ethnic background of my bf (rn they haven't met so she doesn't know that he's part of that group) and I believe she would pick up on the mannerisms that friends have commented on. My dad is generally less extreme but they sort of feed off of each other. Idk what my aunt's stances are and I don't really care what she thinks, though I assume she might gossip with other siblings/extended family?
To be clear, they definitely would not treat my bf poorly to his face, but it would just be me dealing with the comments after the fact. But my considerations are that:
– I don’t know if it makes sense to introduce bf and family and go through this if we haven't even decided that we're that serious yet (ie, thinking that we could marry each other one day).
– If I did want to introduce them, this might be the only opportunity for the next year or so since my family isn't local.
– If I do introduce them, do I "warn" either my bf or my family so they know what they're walking into? Do I let this bias their perceptions of each other before meeting or do I try to preserve their ability to make their own judgments?
TLDR: My (straight) bf has "less masculine" mannerisms and my parents are slightly homophobic. How do I introduce them (if at all) without hurting bf's feelings/my parents making negative comments?