So me and boyfriend are both medical students , we met in his homecountry where we both are studying but i traveled there to study(I am from Sweden he is Polish)
Same year in medical school. Age gap is due to to him studying another degree before medicine and not ending it up
In the beginning our relationship did not sound like the best idea for us to be together because our religion and cultural difference and the fact that i am in his country only to study. Since Sweden has a better life for doctors and an easier language to learn we decided we will go through the challenges and comprimise so we can be able to be together. Which meant i will try to learn his language so i can be able to communicate with his family and he needs to learn swedish and try to learn more about my culture and religion ( My family are originally from the middle east) . First year of our relationship everything was going smoothly and i was still learning about my boyfriend but the more time i went i realized that he is easily distracted , suffers from a low self esteem , isnt passionate about what he is doing , does not have the power to do things and prefers to procrastinate things and then lets his bad mood consume him. The fact that he is not working and is not stable economically and still living off his parents money , and that he spent almost 8 years of his life studying and we have 4 more years of medical school consumes him and then makes him feel powerless and lazy. His reactions and the way he is acting now: not being responsible , being lazy , me being the dominant one in helping him move forward in his thoughts and studies make me feel so insecure of how much he is actually willing to go through the challenges we have . Learning a language , changing enviorment , studying more, learning about my culutre and blending in.
Our differences in religion and culture was big enough to make the relationship already hard but now it just seems even harder. I am tired of being the dominant partner trying to plan our future , see how would i do things to make it easier for him to pass the subjects how to raise his self esteem.
He has always been an anxious person and the least i can do is support him which i am but the only problem he isolates himself in his head or distracts himself with other things like sports or social media. He doesnt let me in no matter how much i try and i just get scared sometimes because i cant tell if he is up to the challanges our relationship will bring. Its causing my inner anexity too.