My husband and I got married a few months ago (even though we have a 2yr old daughter together). We have/had a very healthy relationship. Truly the best thing ever.
The issue is for a while I almost had TOO much sexual drive. Ever since our wedding it’s slowly gone downhill. It’s because we eloped, and we agreed to write our own vows. We had our closest friends and family and while I wrote amazing vows, he didn’t. He wrote like 4 sentences (even though we agreed on the duration of our vows). I’ve never felt so humiliated. Thousands of dollars on my dress, location, flight, amount of time planning, just for me to feel hurt and unappreciated.
I know he loves and appreciates me. He leaves little one liner notes for me all the time. We have an age gap, so he has a lot more sexual experience than me. I’m not sure why it matters but now I don’t have much of a drive for him. I don’t turn him down, but the sex is way less frequent and not as great (2-3x a week, down to 1x a week).
Now I still have my drive, but now I masturbait every day instead of waiting for him to get home from work. I don’t even think of him sexually anymore. He doesn’t know it’s really an issue, but the fact I don’t even get turned on by him is weird (I was infactuated with him). Advise?
I tried to talk to him about it after, and he was just as disappointed in himself. I didn’t feel like I should make it worse, since he felt bad enough already. He was sick on our wedding day, but I feel like there’s no excuse to not writing vows when it was planned over a year out. Now I compare myself a lot. I wonder why his drive didn’t match mine in the first place. It’s just getting worse and worse with time. I don’t feel like I can talk to others since they will all look down on our relationship.