So, here is a question related to not conversing Correctly

My partner and I get along fine and are supportive of each other, but when the talks get serious it can be a challenge.

It’s a M/F relationship, and her perspective is that I am not well thought out in my conversation techniques. Often time I will go into a conversation and pretty much externally process and state my opinion. It is not meant to shut down the conversation, it is meant as an open discussion.

She prefers that I would give context of whether I have a question or am openly processing when we have a talk. Basically, she would like me to tell her what kind of discussion we are having before having it. I have a feeling that the ability for me to decipher what kind of conversation I am looking to have before having it is fairly daunting.

I mean, I just talk most times.

So, am I unjustified in the fact that I think that her inability to evolve to my way of conversation and understanding of how I talk, is a problem? Or, should I appreciate that she would like more structure to our dialogue? I feel like I am engaging and want to have discussions/conversations without having to label them as point/counterpoint, “here is the defined question and I would like your answer this specific question now” type of narrative.

Anyway, its frustrating.