My daughter seems to have inherited my approach to making and keeping friends…very minimal effort wise. I actively avoid most people in all honesty. It’s not that I can’t make friends, I just don’t want to – that sounds like I’m a bitch but it’s a defense mechanism that I’ve grown accustomed to and enjoy in my late 30s. I have a lot of acquaintances but I struggle with the norm that talking about people and their situations is enjoyable, I always feel bad. So, distancing myself from most is okay for me.
Anyway, my daughter will say she has no friends and she spends a lot of time in her room. I recently found a list she wrote that included things like meeting new people, hanging out with friends more, and go outside. I felt sick to my stomach that she aches for friends and I’m a poor example. She can sometimes be shy but is super friendly once she feels comfortable.
Should I actively try to change my approach? Any suggestions what are good ways to grow her friendships? I hate that she feels lonely and that it’s my fault.