So basically, this school year is ending in a few days, and I really wanna make a few friends before summer since I don’t wanna be bored and by myself during the break. I have social anxiety, I barely talk to people I’m not really familiar with, that’s like one of my worst fears and I’m trying to get rid of it. There’s a couple of guys in my PE class that I think have similar interests as me and I wanna talk to them but i just don’t know how to simply approach them. I’m a girl and have more typical “masculine” interests than typical “feminine” interests. They’re always in a group together and I just don’t know if I should approach them when they’re all in a group. I have friends, but they all just have different classes than me or different lunches than me. I usually sit alone during lunch but people sit around me, but they eventually leave and I’m by myself. I even got poked at in the back by some guys when I was sitting completely by myself. I feel like sometimes people just don’t wanna talk to me because they think I don’t speak English or I’m weird. I’m pretty sure one of the guys has a crush on me as well, that’s kind of another reason why I want to talk to them. I sometimes talk to people during PE and talk to the other quiet people. I even got called a social reject earlier in the year simply just by not talking, so that sorta made me more self conscious about myself but I’m not gonna let those words coming out of some losers mouth bring me down. I don’t know why it became more difficult to approach complete strangers over the past few years, when I was younger I could easily go up to someone I didn’t even know and just introduce myself and tell them my interests and boom just like that, I made a friend. I can’t just approach anyone and simply tell them my name since I’m not an elementary schooler anymore and I haven’t been for years. It feels like it’s so complicated to simply approach anyone I’m not familiar with now.
2 comments
It’s great to hear that you’re trying to overcome your social fears, so be proud of yourself for going out of your comfort zone. While there’s nothing wrong with being introverted or quiet in nature, I do understand that you desire to make friends. We are in fact, social beings and it is only natural for us to want to interact with others. I suggest you approach these group of guys or if you’re slightly uncomfortable to do this, then perhaps strike a conversation with one of them. Be genuine and try not to overthink what they may think of you. Sometimes when I get socially anxious or become shy to approach someone, I remind myself that I could be missing out on life-changing experiences. It’s possible that an aquaintance whom I am afraid to start a conversation with, could actually turn out to be the love of my life. Or that stranger who I pass by could become my best friend 50 years down the road. When I think of all these amazing possibilities, the good always outweighs the bad. It motivates me to push aside my self-doubts and anxiety, and just experience what is. Sooo basically try your best not to be afraid of putting yourself out there. Even if certain friendships/relationships don’t work out, just remember that there’s millions of other people who would genuinely enjoy being with you. Give yourself and give them a chance to spend life with you.
You need a topic to discuss and you need to discuss it with a smile preferably. Smiling and being gentle helps people be comfortable with you. There’s no more logic to it than that