Need help making my partner feel more confident after I miscommunicated about my experience.

Apologies in advance for what I feel is a bit of a complex situation. My partner (FtM 25) and I (F 27) have been together for 2 years now. We have only had sex once due to my partners complicated relationship with sex and feelings regarding their anatomy. This has been fine as I would much rather be with him than have sex, especially if they don't feel completely comfortable with sex. He is planning to get bottom surgery, and I have noticed that his communication is rather suggestive of wanting sex in the future once they have had bottom surgery. We discussed this a while back and he did not seem like he was completely sure. This was several months ago. I have noticed very recently that his language has become even more suggestive and there is more of a tension vibe building if that makes any sense. He has gone as far to say things along the lines of that I will have dick again once he has had bottom surgery. I have always been transparent with him that the anatomy of his genitals is unimportant to me, but I respect that he would feel more confident with a penis. So, here is the problem. I think that he may want sex now but isn't feeling confident enough to ask me. The first and only time we had sex he got off hard, but I didn't. I know that he feels really embarrassed about this. At the time we had sex I was still recovering from an extremely abusive relationship where I was repeatedly raped for several years. As a result, I was extremely nervous and also still wasn't able to feel much from external stimulation even when done myself. Unfortunately, I told him I wasn't able to feel much at the time, and I think this made him feel even more self-conscious. I realize now that I should have explained that better than I did at the time, and I have a lot of regret. Also, to be clear, he was aware at the time of the nature of the relationship I was leaving. Basically, I now don't know how to help him feel more confident and reassure him that I did enjoy having sex with him without making him feel pressure to have sex if he isn't comfortable. How do I approach this? Thank you so much for the help.