Me and partner are closing in on 5 years together. Neither of us wants to get married, but we are in a rental where our lease is close to expiry, and I would like to be putting serious thought into getting our own place and starting a family.
I was all braced to have a big discussion this weekend and setting out our 2025 plan for what we want/need to do together to make it happen. I know she desperately wants to have a baby too, so I really wanted to have a new addition to our family arriving within 12 months.
All seemed to go well, we had a big talk over coffee and she laid out her anxieties and what she would want, and I thought it was a really productive discussion. I went out to the gym and when I came back she was on the sofa and asked me to come and sit down. She immediately burst into tears and told me that she’d been lying to me for a long time, and that she’s squandered away her inheritance from her dad (who passed away 2 years ago) and her life savings in the space of year. She’s burned through $20,000 and now has nothing left in her savings
She was saying that she thought I would ditch her immediately. I admit I feel absolutely gut punched and am still in shock about the whole thing. She said she feels like she has f’ed up her whole life with this, and I feel like I’ve had the rug pulled from under me. I knew she was terrible with money and always buying things she doesn’t need (she just paid me back for 3-months of backdated bills, and I loaned her $2K a while back where she just ignored our repayment agreement and only paid me back when her dad died, which felt weird and like I was robbing her inheritance).
Don’t really know who I can talk to about it, so sharing here for any advice/perspective. Should I stay or should I leave?