I (22F) and my bf(22M) have known each other since we were 11. We were sweethearts since then, but then went our seperate ways, dated others , then found ourselves back with each other a few months ago. I didnt have lots of experience with sex but i did initiate with him and since then, sex has been an important aspect of our relationship. He has more experience and we have a rather active sex life. However, i do realise that im horny for him ALOT, unlike how i was with my ex, who was the 2nd guy i had dated in my life. My bf is also a relatively horny guy but has made lighthearted jokes about not being able to keep up with me. I dont want him to feel pressured into keeping up with me, and hes never rly said anything besides that but, should I try and get my horniness down? Any advice on how to un-horny myself (if i should)?


5 comments

  1. I think you shouldn’t do anything in every relationship one person is hornier than the other I think that’s normal

  2. no need to stop, just incorporate other things like using toys when he is unable to perform.

  3. My partner isn’t able to keep up with my constant desire either 😂 I just make sure to take care of myself often so I’m not antagonizing him, and I usually tell him when I am to keep a little excitement between us even when I’m performing solo. Just don’t make him feel pressured really, and if you’re super concerned have a chat with him about how he feels about it!

  4. Libido isn’t something you can easily lower. The things that most reliably make people want sex less are universally *bad:* illness, stress, exhaustion, a bad relationship. Some people say that physical activity like a gym routine helps them manage arousal, but others say working out makes them *more* interested in sex. Some people recommend masturbating privately to settle your desires when a partner can’t keep up, but for some folks (me) the more sexual stimulation you get the more you want.

    What works best for me is having a project or hobby I’m really interested in, something I can keep my focus on for a long period of time and think about throughout the day. This might be writing, or reading, a game, or best of all learning a new skill.

    Like other redditors have said, your relationship sounds good. Occasionally joking about not being able to keep up is very different from complaining that frequent sex is making them feel used or unhappy, or taking away from other things they want to do with you. I encourage you to have as much sex as you want as often as you can. As long as you still make time to do things you both enjoy together outside of the bedroom I think you will be ok.

    Some couples share a high libido and enjoy a lot of sex together. Others want less, and many are mismatched with their desires. It’s worth occasionally checking in: “I enjoyed having sex 7 times (or 14 or 21 or more) with you in the past 7 days, but are you still enjoying this too? It’s no good unless we are both having a good time together.” I think you are doing ok:-)

  5. Doesn’t sound like a big problem, but exercising can help your body regulate it better. Doesn’t reduce libido but can lighten some of the horny moods you might have.

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