I talked with my boyfriend of 1+ years about marriage and having kids seriouly for the first time. I was really baffled and couldn't understand when he said marriage is just a label and meaningless and for him having no kids is ideal. He has a autistic brother who is 2 years younger than him. I asked him for his perspective why he thinks the way he thinks because it is really hard for me to understand, I never thought i'd not want kids in the future at the same time I didn't thought about kids till now.
He said he's scared- we'll be investing so much time and efforts on the baby with no guarantee if he'll turn out a good person. He said it is not worth it, it a big risk.
I found it astounding the way he thinks and kept saying tell me more about it because i want to know why he thinks this way.
My parents- my mom is 69 and my dad is 72. My dad was sick this week, we all were in the hospital, now my mom got sick today, we're in the hospital again now.
While in the beginning he never told me this straightforwardly. Even i didn't tell i wanted kids and think marriage is meaningful to me and not just a label. I said i didn't want to have kids in my 20s and he said he was ok with having kids 10 years from now. But now I'm realizing my parents are getting old, they might not even get a chance to meet their grand kids. What if i want to have kids when i turn 30- 31, what if i'd long to have kids of my own when i see others my age having kids when I'm in my early 30s?
I asked him that what I'm hearing from you is you're ok with our kids not seeing their mom's side of grandparents and he said yes.
I never thought he thinks this way.
I'm posting this to understand your perspective why you think having kids is not worth it? Because it is the opposite of how i think and I need to understand.
My boyfriend is 24 and I turned 26 last week.