This just sounds silly, but it made me feel very vulnerable.
I was married young (20) and I was married for 10 years before we got divorced.
My current boyfriend is only the 2nd person I've ever been with. We were friends first for several months, and once we started dating we didn't have sex until we had been together for a month.
I never had any issue with sex when I was married. We were both virgins when we met, and somehow sex was just easy. We experimented and it just always seemed to work out nicely.
My current boyfriend is VERY experienced compared to me. However, sex with him is actually harder and it's made me feel insecure because I feel like I am not as "good" as I thought I was.
He has made little comments about everything. He'll ask me to "push back" in various positions (I thought I was?). Or a few times he's seemed irritated (when I think everything is going fine) and he'll say having sex with me is like "wrestling". Or he'll sound frustrated and say he can't get off this way (I guess with how I'm moving or something). For example, if we are in doggy and I move a certain way he'll say "ugh! no, don't move like that".
He also will make other comments. For example, I like to get waxed. For anyone who gets waxed, you have to let new hair grow to about the size of a grain of rice. He complains about that (he HATES all body hair…even on himself). He says I should just shave then I can be completely bare every day. I tell him I don't like shaving because I hate feeling any stubble and I end up with a rash.
Another thing he'll do is when we are kissing he will say, "no, KISS me…really kiss me". I have no idea what he means because I definitely do think I'm really kissing him (with tongue, gentle biting, etc etc).
I just get so confused because my ex-husband literally had zero complaints in over a decade. But maybe I was just bad at sex all along and he just didn't say anything? Or maybe it's because he had nobody to compare me to, and my current boyfriend has a very long list to compare me to?
Is this something a sex therapist can help with? Or does it just take time? I do find I avoid sex more now because I have anxiety surrounding it. It's not fun anymore.
tldr: my boyfriend complains about how we have sex.