So my husband and I had a baby back in February 14th, and since then I’ve had 2 miscarriages the most recent happening on my dads birthday July 29 and the previous April 19th on my husband grandmothers birthday. Not a very pleasant thing to be happening exactly on peoples birthdays.
I wasn’t and still am not ready for a baby. He’s made it more obvious before and even now he wants another. Yesterday he “joked” about it immediately getting off of work, I just kept brushing it off. Fast forward a couple of hours he kept telling me I should get off of it because (on combination Estarylla 0.25/0.035) it’s hard for me to maintain strength and muscle. I was crying at this point while try to do back and posterior chain workouts. He helped, seemed concerned, and probably a little upset with me.
To be clear I’m the one that’s dragged us to the gym my PT was even taken back by that fact…. Anyways he continued to tell me I should get off of it cos it’s made me so upset. I and him both hate condoms and he probably can’t properly fit most to even be comfortable. He even mentioned like I did it’s just way more intimate without. I don’t have a single issue with any of this, it’s the fact that I’ve mentioned I don’t want to be pregnant and I’m taking matters into my own hands, and not only does he mention another baby after I’ve said I don’t feel ready, I don’t want another right now, and I emotionally can’t handle it, but he tried and sadly failed successfully as mentioned at the beginning of this rant. I’ve told him I’ve wanted more in the mist of the moment but I’ve told him don’t listen to me right now in the moment cos I’ve said outside the bedroom in quite uncomfortable settings I’m not ready and HORMONES BE WILD!
Before anyone mentions pullout method and tracking fertility isn’t an option. My cycles have been off and I’ve been ovulating more than before I had my daughter. He um…. Well isn’t the best at the pullout method. Well isn’t with me anyway and definitely hasn’t been with me for a very long time.
I wanted to change to IUD….but…. The hassle of insertion, then dealing with the possibility of the strings almost indefinitely irritating me and my husband, the inevitable extra cramps and bleeding, and it having a risk of shifting from lots and lots of sexy time (rough or gentle).
So I’m stuck with hormonal birth control or IUD. Every other option so far seems implausible or has side effects I don’t want to even attempt to deal with. My only complaint about hormonal birth control is it’s harder to gain and maintain muscle….. like super hard, and little harder to orgasm. Past that I’ve gotten past the fact I don’t feel like myself. It’s better than being pregnant right now!!!!!! To also be clear I want more kids just not now!!!!!!