I’d like to start with the fact that I have very low self esteem…
I met a guy in tinder back in May, we clicked within days and he started to share with me more about his life, family, friends, making plans for the future with me about going to concerts or coming up movies together, he introduced me to his roommates, coworkers (he works at a bar and he invited me few times so I knew everybody there).
One day he invited me to his house, we ordered food, watched movies and of course we had sex, after that day I didn’t hear anything from him for few more days and I asked him if everything was okay? Days later he replied saying this was way too serious and he didn’t want that, he told me he didn’t like that setup and he wasn’t interested in meeting anyone at the moment.. weeks later I was walking to meet my friends and the address was very close from the bar he works at, I stopped by to say hi really as an act of “hey we can still be friends and I’m not mad at you” he was SO rude, his coworkers realized that (remember he introduced me to everyone there) and I felt very humiliated, I left and one week later he deleted me from his IG and told me that after stopping at his job was something very very bad and he didn’t want anything with me at all after that. I know he really liked me, I don’t know what made him change his mind about me? Was he feeling more and he got afraid so he decided to step back?
Almost 2 months have passed and I still thinking about him, some days are worst than others. Last week I got very drunk and I texted him begging him to please block me and how much I missed him, he read my messages and he didn’t block me. I know I can block him too but I also know I can unblock him at any time (I already mentioned I have very low self esteem so yes I have an internal battle daily)
I sent him a photo yesterday and he saw it, no reply… I’m sad, I’m heart broken, I don’t know why he doesn’t block me, just reads the messages and doesn’t reply. At this point is clear he doesn’t want anything with me but he doesn’t block me for I don’t know what reason and that kills my brain. I’m trying to guess what game he is playing, is he that narcissist? Does he have the same low self esteem as me and needs validation? Does he enjoys watching me begging for his attention?
I don’t know what to do to stop thinking about him, to stop hurting myself, I know I’m wrong for doing this to myself, how can I make him to block me?
Help 🙁