We were together 4.5 years, but ended things last July. There's still a lot of love between us, but there's an equal amount of incompatibility. He works 60+ hour weeks and often 'brings his work home' too. On top of this, he is very close with his parents that live 2 hours away.
While together, I was lucky to see him once a week. There were stretches of time I'd only see him 1-2x a month. I admittedly would get upset about this, then behave in a rather childish manner. Embarrassingly acting like a needy kid.
As time went on, we both realized how unhealthy this was for us.
Since we've broken up, he's sent me about 5 cards/letters and 3 'presents' while I've sent him an equal number of cards, letters, and presents.
Everytime this happens though, I feel depleted afterwards. For a few days I'll be on top of the moon, so happy to hear from him. So happy to know he's doing okay. Then reality sets in that I likely won't hear from him again for 3 months.
I'm likewise stuck in the predicament of sending him a 'thank you' and starting the cycle all over.
I know I need to set boundaries, but I don't even know what that would even look like. I'm guessing I just need to send him a letter saying 'thanks for being polite and cordial, but I need to cut all contact'
However, he has very few friends and no siblings, so I struggling A LOT with essentially acting like he's dead to me.
tl;dr – ex and I broke up last year, still in contact. This contact is keeping me from moving on, but I struggle completely cutting him off, as I still care a lot about him, and he has few people in his life. How best to compromise?