My parents (I.e. my dad) was really into this, repeating stories of us kids when we were growing up. Although this was fine since there was a nostalgic air to it.
As an adult I find some people who seem to say the same things/information/anecdotes when I meet them. Its alright if they say it twice, but sometimes they repeat them 3 or even 4 times.
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I assume it’s because they have a poor memory. They’ve forgotten what they’ve already told me. So I don’t usually bring it up, in the same way I wouldn’t point out if they used a word in the wrong context, or misremembered someone’s name who wasn’t present. It’s ignoring/forgiving a flaw to save their feelings.
I just kind of smile or laugh (depending on the story) and say “yes I remember, you mentioned this the other day”.
Usually, there’s a natural break so I can get in quite early in the retelling.
My parents do it all the time.
I just usually cheerily interject ‘and then didn’t…….?’ to indicate I know what’s coming next if I remember that particular anecdote.
No of course not, that would be rude.
My parents did this and it really annoyed me so I was always a bit of a brat about it. Now one’s gone, it’s changed. If it makes her happy to share a memory I’m happy to listen.
My wife does this. I don’t say anything as it’s not worth the hassle.
Sometimes people tell a story or anecdote simply to relive the emotional impact of the event, it hits them deeply and either they think it hits you the same way or they’re trying to impart some of that feeling to you. They want you to feel how they feel. This is especially true of parents/grandparents. Think of it as “I loved you so much then and I love you so much now” if it’s an old story about you. When it comes to family, enjoy these because one day the person that tells them will be gone and the stories become important.
If it’s a friend or someone you know telling some tired old tale of past successes, what they’re saying is “please like me, I feel like a need validation and that was the only time I felt I had any”. Throw them a bone, ask follow up questions to help build their story and feelings up.
Or you could always excuse yourself to the toilet and hide until it’s all over.
Just smile. I’m probably not really listening anyway.
I would just smile and say you have mentioned that before, It s nice that they remember . they may have nothing else to say ,
I’m awful for repeating things. Don’t know why. I’m not someone who repeats the story and each time it has more embellishment, or to show off. If people tell me I’ve said something before I reply “Ah well, it’s when the story changes you have to worry”. The best one is when you say, as someone above has mentioned “oh yes and didn’t you xyz” which stops me feeling like an idiot when someone tells me after I’ve finished my tale. (Edit: a word.)
I used to have a friend who had only three topics of conversation, his motorcycle, his Scottish holiday, which was the same every year, and model aircraft. There’s only so many times you can put up with the same stories and conversations. I ended up just getting shot of him and not answering my door. It turns out he had mild Asperger syndrome.
Yeah I say you’ve told me that before
If they have memory problems just go with it, if not and they’ve said it an annoying amount of times then I usually carry on with what im doing and say “I know, you told me.”
Parents do this a lot. Almost to the point where a topic comes up and they will recall the same thing each time, going into whatever level of detail they see fit that day. I just nod along.
Lol, my father is like this. It’s a function of poor memory and limited intelligence/experience.
Imagine a foreign language speaker that can only remember 50 words… it’s like that with memories.
Just say, “Yeah I remember. I love hearing that story.”
My elderly neighbour is like this, keeps repeating stories and stuff and you feel rude to just turn him down bluntly but i’ve found that a quick “Oh yeah, I remember you said…” really enthusiastically as soon as they start, and immediately follow with a furthering talking point before they can continue the long winded story – be it with an expanded question about that same story or a related similar story in your life. That way they remember talking about it and tend to not bring it up again, and if they do – reel off the end of a sentence to their story before they say it followed with “oh i remember you telling me that” along with a reactive comment about it before quickly changing the subject to how busy you are or whatever
Sounds kind of unkind, or like im being a dick but if i didnt id spend three hours a day being told the same story and im too nice to be harsh but not nice enough to spend my days with crossed arms listening to some old blokes story on repeat lol
Yep, usually, “oh really, I didn’t know” had one mate who lived in New Zealand for a year, and he used to always tell stories and we would just fake suprise “you went to new Zealand for a year?!”