My husband 48M and I 43F, have been together for about 10 years. I have this unfortunate libido where I run pretty hot for about the first 2 years of a relationship, then my libido falls off a cliff, (like going from wanting sex 3-4 times a week to once a month). It happens quickly and it’s happened in all 4 of the long term relationships I’ve had. My husband is like a 2-3 times a week guy, and he’s very attracted to me, and it’s been really, really hard to navigate. We have compromised that I will initiate about once a week when I feel up for it (I never really want to, but I do it because it’s important to him, and I usually have an ok time after I get into it), which is the most I can do it without it feeling really awful mentally and physically. And we also have a respectful open relationship where he can visit with another female friend he has on occasion. I feel secure enough that this is ok with me.
It wasn’t always a smooth compromise however, he used to be a real jerk about it, I almost left him, but he’s been better in the last few years and I finally feel ok with where we are at. I wish I had a higher libido but I just don’t. And it’s not that I’m unattracted to him really, but once the shine wears off in a relationship my body stops responding, and I have to force the issue.
Curious how people feel about this sort of thing? Anyone else do a similar compromise? Does this seem fair to both him and myself given the situation?