I was pretty antisocial in high school. But the past week of college I’m making more friends than ever and actually talking to them on text. I’ve also gotten girls snaps who I think are interested in me. I haven’t had anxiety at all this past week, but I have been suffering from major sleep problems, and speculate I have insomnia. Regardless, when I had my first class this week, I met this girl as I had asked her for a pen during Psychology, I was pretty confident and I think I made her blush a bit. And to clarify I am a decently good looking guy, so I know she wasn’t just making fun of me. I w as thinking about talking to her and getting her snap, but I completely forgot as it was my first class of the day. I again had the class today and forgot about it till I went. Of course she goes and sits right behind me but don’t say anything. I was kind of afraid of coming off weird, so I stayed silent. I left the class and as soon as I got to my dorm I wrote a note on phone saying to her Friday. Later, I spot her at the gym and she goes right next to me doing the same exact exercise. I was about to talk to her when she vanished, which prompted me to play basketball. I then saw her again when I was turning in my basketball talking to a guy who was shorter,(not to be hurtful) not as attractive, or healthy as me. Again I spot her near the entrance to the cafeteria, and I blaze past her side making zero eye contact. I also am 99.9% sure I found her snap by just typing. I was wondering out texting her but I didn’t want to come off as weird or creepy. I sometimes wonder if it’s me. If it’s the old me who would fantasize about my crush. The crush that was in theatre and show choir, both of which I was involved in(for the better part of the first 3 years of high school). The crush who I never said more than a sentence to, but stared at. The crush that wanted a kiss scene between me and her during a one act play we had our Sophmore year. Sometimes I wish I actually tried in high school. There was even girls who I knew had interest in me but was to insecure to confront. Im glad that I’m out of my shell more now, but this anxiety feels horrible. So please help me. I swear this is the worst anxiety I’ve ever felt. Should I text her on snap? What should I say? I really want to get to know her. To make her feel like no girl has ever felt. To let her know that I’m a good person, and I only want one girl in my life.
Side note: I’ve heard of a story in the 48 laws of power(which I listen to on Spotify currently, and so I can protect myself from others who play this game) where a handsome young man is taken under the wing of an old courtier, who guides him to steal the heart of this girl. He appears randomly in public and eventually he is close to winning her heart and spills everything out about he loves her, she then doesn’t want to see him anymore, and is ‘never there’ when he asks for her. What if she is doing this to attract my attention. Showing up in random places and talking to a guy to make me jealous. Which also happens in the story where he shows up to events with other girls. I also don’t want to reveal my intentions and scare her. So please give any advice. And yes my spelling is very bad, because I’m typing this rapidly.