(21M) Ok I’ll try and be as clear and transparent about everything. I’ve never really had much experience with girls and stuff. I grew up extremely overweight and especially in HS, and so I never thought of even pursuing girls bc I believed they wouldn’t find me attractive, so I never really got confident doing that. So I was always the person making everyone laugh, which I do enjoy. I was always super friendly with everyone and got along and was close with a lot of people. I lost a good amount of the weight my senior year, and lost even more now that I’m in college (Used to be 280, now I’m 176.)
So I never really tried pursuing a girl romantically or anything like that ever, but in the fall I started to get really close with one girl, and developed feelings, and ended up telling her, and she ended up saying she loves me a lot as a friend, but that I’m like a little brother to her.
Then months after that I really got close with another girl who I ended up becoming absolute best friends with. Ended up telling her as well. She thought about it for a while, and would constantly say I would be the perfect boyfriend and I had everything she was looking for in one, fun, funny, caring and empathetic, and she said she was attracted to me, but in the end she wanted to just stay friends.
Needless to say, my confidence is a bit of a wreck since that. So I’m trying to see if maybe I’m just not really attractive I guess? Maybe my personality as well? I’m really close with a lot of people here at college, I’m always making jokes and stuff and I love making them laugh, and I always get asked to do stuff with people, and people always come talk to me about their issues bc they trust me and bc I really do care about them. But no one ever does really come up to me asking to go out or anything, but neither do I really. So I’m not sure. I also don’t really go up to girls and ask them out or anything. But I think these 2 rejections have just been tough. So if anyone has advice about if there’s anything I can do with my looks or anything else, I’d really appreciate it.