I have been me married for about ten years. My wife is a nurse with a M-F job normal 8-5 hours. Anyways after about a year of her needing to work late. I found out she was having an emotional affair with a coworker. I found out by restoring her text message thread while she was sleeping as I was becoming suspicious.
Besides that drama we're currently working on restoring our relationship with professional counseling. The issue is I have ADHD I'm on Vyvanse but I'm struggling with reliving those messages daily and sometimes hourly (I don't look at them anymore but I swear they're burned into my brain). My self esteem is now in the dumps. I already had a lower self worth from teachers, coaches and parents constantly being disappointed in me.
I constantly feel that this is my lot in life and I deserved it for always being an airhead, and being distant with her. I don't feel loved anymore and now I don't want to trust anyone
Any advice on dealing with these runaway negative thoughts would be greatly appreciated. ,