A week ago my “fiance” and I went to see the new alien movie with our friends (another couple). We hung out at the movie theater bar for a while after the movie was over – everything was going great until the other couple started arguing.
My “fiance” separated with the other guy trying to calm him down because he was drunk and overreacting. However, my “fiance” was also drunk. I could see their conversation was going nowhere and tried to interject because it was late, I was tired, and I had to work in the morning – my “fiance” flipped. Yelled at me to “shut the fuck up, men are talking”. I’m obviously hurt and angry. We go to leave and I try to take the keys because he’s clearly drunk and shouldn’t be driving. He refuses to let me drive and I end up in the car with him screaming at me and speeding. While I’m sobbing he’s hurling insults at me and yelling at me to stop crying.
He then tells me that I wouldn’t survive with him and I would be nothing without him, pulls over and tells me to get out of “his” car. (It’s my daily driver, both our names are on it, and his mom just paid it off for us after they both convinced me she just wanted to help after I refused the offer several times). I get out of the car – am left on the side of the road 30 mins away from home. He ends up turning around and demanding I get back in the car. When I refused he sped away, then circled back and this time I got back in the car. As we’re driving home he’s still yelling various insults at me and we’re going back and forth.
Here’s the kicker: now I don’t remember what I said before he said this to me (probably because of how fucked my brain has been from it) but whatever I said he responded with “it’s not my fault you got fucking date raped”…
There’s a lot more that happened that night after that but for me that’s what takes the cake.
I shared my trauma with someone I’ve been with for almost 8 years just to have it weaponized and thrown in my face all because he was drunk and angry about something that never should’ve involved us in the first place.
He’s been super apologetic and saying he’s never going to drink again because his grandfather was an abusive drunk and once he got sober he became the most amazing person. I just don’t have faith in growing together anymore. I’m so sad… I wanted this to work more than anything and I feel like I’ve wasted so much of my life trying to convince someone to be good to me. I don’t want it all to be for nothing.