I’m new here so please bear with me!
I ( 28F ) have known my boyfriend ( 24M )for 3 years. We were just friends at first and been seriously dating for the past 4 months. We are part of the same social circle and share a lot of friends.
Let’s get to the point. The first time we slept together (we used a condom) i noticed little bumps on his genital area and even without asking, he told me straight away, that he had them his whole life and i shouldn’t be worried.
At the beginning of our relationship we had the conversation about “who’ve you slept with” because again we are part of the same social group. He said two names of our friends group, which i was fine with. I would have been fine with any names and number. I am not one to judge.
Fast forward few weeks later we had our first intimate contact without protection. It was great i didn’t think of it in any negative way. Before we had it i asked him specifically if he had sex without a condom with anyone in the past year and he said no. I asked him if he has any health complaints and he said no.
The next day we were having dinner and randomly talking when he slipped in the conversation that he had sex with another girl whom he didn’t tell me about. I was a bit taken aback but thought he maybe had forgotten about it when i first asked him. I then ask is there more that i should know about. He then said 5 more names.I asked if he had sex without protection with any of them and he said no, again. I pressed the matter more and he than admitted to having sex without protection with all of them but said that he thought that if it is only for once and for a short time it didn’t count. I was in complete shock. I then hat to ask again if he lied to me about anything else. That’s when he-admitted the bumps on his genital area were warts of HPV -human papilloma virus. My heart dropped. I know that it is a common virus, i know how it spreads and i know what it can cause.
We had the conversation then and there where he apologised and said that he was afraid to tell me and afraid to go to the doctor. I forgave him.
But few months later i cant stop thinking about it. He lied to me and knowingly put my health at risk of contracting the virus because he was scared. I’m going to the gyno in few days to get checked about HPV. I’m going now cause since we started having sex I’ve been having a lot of gynaecological problems that needed sorting first. I’ve always been a big supporter of doing the necessary to stay healthy and be responsible for yours and your partners well being when it comes to sexual contact.
I feel really bad and a bit betrayed. Over all he is a really sweet and gentle guy. I feel bad about the girls he slept with and didn’t say anything about his condition. I dont know how to manage this situation.
Am i being too harsh and judgmental. Is he too young to know better? Should i say something to the other girls. I don’t know what to do so im here begging for your advice!