My wife I have been married for five years and there’s one recurring issue in our relationship and I’m honestly tired of it.
Whenever my wife gets sick, like a cold or even just feeling run down, she insists that I “take care of her.” I’m not talking about like picking up her side of the chores or cooking dinner. I’m totally fine with all that. What she really wants is for me to baby her. She expects me to stay home from work, sit by her side, and basically cater to her every need like she’s a helpless child.
In Feb she caught a fairly mild cold that kept her 'bedridden' for nearly a week. She made me do things like feed her toast and 'dippy eggs', rub her feet, put on Disney movies for her, read to her, make her special "snackies". She also wants me to sleep on the couch because she needs the entire bed to herself to "spread out with her stuffies"… which are these dreaded squishmallow things that are normally in a closet.
Honestly the whole infantilising thing just makes me feel gross, it's like I have a 5 year old to look after. But she's literally only like it when she's sick so I don't get it?
I love my wife, but I have my own stuff too and I don't want to play this nurse role every time.
This weekend she came down with another cold and started the whole routine. I decided enough was enough and told her I would cook meals and do all the housework and look after the cats etc, but I wasn’t going to do things like brushing her hair and helping wash her and "put her to bed". She got really upset, saying I’m being unsupportive and don’t care about her.
I tried explaining that I do care, but I also think she’s milking it. Now she’s acting like I’m a terrible husband. I genuinely don’t think I’m in the wrong here, but she’s made me feel guilty about not “being there” for her. Am I being too harsh, or is she expecting too much?