On a couple of occasions that my partner and I were being intimate, he’s been invested in helping me orgasm.. so, I’ll touch myself and he’ll kiss and caress me, and that’s sweet and I appreciate it. However, I wanted to reciprocate because it’s important to me that he feels good too. He brushed it off and I went, “nooo, but you did all of that for me, it’s okay.” I genuinely wanted him to feel good and when I was done, I brought the attention to him and he said okay. So I tried to help him with his orgasm and that took a while, which he apologized about, but I didn’t mind because he was so thoughtful with mine.
However, I found out a couple of weeks later that he felt pressured to orgasm because he didn’t want me to think that he wasn’t attracted to me.
I feel really bad that he felt pressured and I’m realizing that I didn’t ask for enthusiastic consent.. I guess in that sense I did put pressure him to orgasm? In the future, I’ll wait for enthusiastic consent, but I also feel like some kind of sexual predator because I crossed a line and I don’t know what to do with that horrifying anxiety. I don't want to ever make someone feel the way that I have felt in the past. Is this coercion??