hi! so i’m 19f, bf is 20m if this matters.
met him about 4 months ago and we hit it off immediately. similar interests, same humor, he is the most gentle and patient person i know and i am so happy to be his partner. we are both students and our relationship is somewhat medium distance right now (about 1:30hr drive), so we see eachother about once every two weeks. he lives with his parents and so do i, but his are more lenient and don’t really care what he does. we waited until we started dating to have sex (as per both of our wishes) and i’ll also add that we have similar interests/kinks in bed, which we thoroughly discussed prior to having sex. we both arent looking for kids either right now, which for both of us, is a dealbreaker (helps calm my worries since we both wish to practice very safe sex). he is so observant and very respectful and cognizant of my needs, both physical and emotional. i’ll also add that i was a virgin before meeting him (hadn’t found anyone i trusted enough before), and he had 3 before me. the only other sexual experience i had was getting fingered by someone i didn’t even like very much, so it wasn’t a good experience.
anyways, onto the issue we are dealing with atm. my first time was with him, and he ate me out first and then we did it. i did not finish, and did not expect to. it also didn’t hurt as bad as i expected, and he was extremely gentle and i couldn’t have asked for a better experience. second and third time was the same, and again, i didn’t really expect to finish since it was my first few. i’ll add that he has finished every time we have done something, and i’ve given him head on maaaaaany occasions even if we don’t have sex. we’ve even tried a sort of mutual thing where he kisses me and sucks my tits and everything while i use a vibrator on myself, and STILL nothing. after that we have had sex quite a few more times and still nothing, he’s also tried just fingering me while i rub my clit/he eats me out and i could feel myself getting closer but wasn’t able to finish. we are very close and joke about it but honestly, it’s starting to get on my nerves.
some things that i know it’s not:
– he lasts a solid amt of time (~20min)
– he’s by no means too small but not so big that i’m in pain
– i fully trust him and that he will stop at any point and we have a good
relationship foundation in and out of the bedroom
– we have been fully home alone on multiple occasions so it’s not me being scared his parents/my parents will hear
– i have been religious in the past (christian to agnostic-athiest now), but i don’t think it is a guilt thing
– i don’t have a porn addiction
– i am not on any ssris or any other prescribed meds
– i am not depressed, insecure about my body, or have anxiety
– im very attracted physically to him and his physique and face
– we are good at communicating openly about anything, including this
– i can make myself finish with my hands in like 20 mins and with a vibrator in like 10
however, i haven’t ever had anyone make me finish (not that anyone but him and one other person have tried), so could that be a factor? like if he gets me there, maybe my body will be like okay, this is how it is? i know many women cannot finish from penetration alone, and he knows that too and doesn’t expect me to.
so, any ideas? if it goes on much longer without me finishing he has offered to go to a sex store and buy some other toys or something, but i honestly just feel kinda broken since im ALWAYS able to get him off. i dont want to rely on a toy, he’s really good at eating out and i always enjoy myself even if i dont finish. also, he hasn’t guilted me in any way during this whole thing, he understands and wants me to be able to experience this with him. and yeah, i enjoy giving head and always will, but god i just want him to be able to get me there too. it’s annoying.