I’ve been struggling with how I present myself in social settings. I often have this vivid vision of the person I want to be—sometimes triggered by music, posts, or edits I come across. It fills me with a rush of excitement and confidence, almost like a glimpse of my ideal self. I daydream a lot about being that person, someone who is confident, cool and someone people genuinely want to be around. But in reality, I find it hard to translate that vision into my real-life interactions.
I admire many people and sometimes try to emulate their behaviors, not because I want to become them, but because I’m searching for a way to express my own personality in a way that feels right to me. However, I’m often dissatisfied with how I come across. It feels like there’s something blocking me from fully expressing who I am as I often find myself in “autopilot” when engaging with others and this has left me feeling socially awkward. It’s not that I dislike talking to people; I just get anxious about making mistakes, running out of things to say, or coming across as weird.
For example, at work, when I do have a good interaction with a co-worker, I tend to avoid speaking to that person again for the rest of the shift because I fear ruining the positive interaction we had. It’s like I’m stuck in this cycle of anxiety and self-doubt, unable to break free and express myself in a way that I’m happy with. I often struggle with balancing between being serious and alluring, which garners respect but can make me less approachable, and being charismatic and expressive, which makes me more engaging but sometimes seems to diminish the respect and make me see immature. It's challenging to navigate between these two sides of my personality.
I want to find a way to be comfortable in my own skin, to express my personality authentically without feeling blocked or anxious. I’m just not sure how to get there. Can anyone help or even relate?