Not sure if this is the right forum, but I appreciate any advice. This type of situation has happened to me multiple times but now I'm just looking for answers to try and understand why men behave this way because I'm confused.
I (28F) have recently gone back to salsa dancing to have a hobby and expand my social circles. Now I understand this is an environment where guys go to find women so I accept that that's part of it but I am purely there to dance and have fun. I'm open to meeting someone but that's not my main objective.
Now, there is a guy who over the past 6-odd weeks has slowly been showing more and more obvious signs of attraction. He's a nice and respectful guy so it's not an issue of me not feeling safe or anything. However in saying that, he's not made any attempt to make a move if that's what he wants to do, he's just hovering. To be blunt about it, I don't like him in a romantic sense for various reasons and we would not make a good match but I'd be happy to be friends. However, as time goes on I am getting more weirded out and liking him less and less because it seems like he only takes his attraction into consideration and gives me no opportunity to share my perspective on the situation. I feel if someone shows interest early on it gives me an opportunity to say no if I'm not interested when there's lower stakes, less investment and hopefully no one gets as hurt. However, as time goes on he's getting more invested and I feel I'm being subjected to constant starting, incessant comments and questions trying to grab my attention, and wanting to constantly dance and have some sort of physical contact even when we're supposed to be watching and listening in class. Admittedly, I'm a people pleaser which is not my best trait. I've tried to be as nice and polite as I can be while still having boundaries and saying like "no thanks, not now, I'm watching the instructors" etc. I feel like I've also been showing some obvious signs of disinterest like avoiding eye contact, giving one word responses, and avoiding all physical contact except for when it's completely necessary in class but this seems to go nowhere. We rotate partners so it's not like I can avoid dancing with him and it would be rude of me if I did.
My first question is, what am I doing wrong in this situation? What can I change to make this less painful for both of us? I just feel it would be a bit bold of me to say something as he's not verbally expressed any feelings and maybe I'm making a lot of assumptions.
Second question, why do guys wait so long to make a move? I can't speak for all women but for me, when guys hover for a long time, and behave really intensely it's quite unsettling but also, I feel like I'm being put on a pedestal. I don't find this attractive as I want a partnership with someone I consider my equal.
Fundamentally, I believe that he means well. I'm not looking to tear him down and I don't blame him for having feelings. I'm purely looking to expand my perspective on this situation so any advice is appreciated. Thanks!