How do I respond to people who shame me for not knowing something.

16 comments

1. It’s really annoying, I sometimes say “that’s why I asked”, “I can’t know if I don’t ask” or something, I don’t get the response of someone laughing at questions at all.

2. you can also just own the fact that you don’t know. if someone doesn’t know something i figured most people know about i don’t shame them, i’ll usually say something like “really? i’m surprised you didn’t know that” but not in a condescending way, you know? there’s a difference when people actually shame you for asking questions, it’s usually like “you didn’t know?” patronizingly. and in that case i usually say “no, i didn’t know.” so what? no one can shame you for something you don’t feel shame for. we’re all gonna die one day. ask all the questions you can ask that you need to know. and if you don’t get the answer you want, do some more searching. you’ll be surprised what you find

3. Do not let negativity or their act of shaming get to you. Do not self-destruct and shrink yourself into a category they would be comfortable to abash you with. Shaming someone for something they are not educated in is wrong. If they can not at least educate you, they have no right to display an ill behaviour neither. It hurts our self-esteem, I know.

4. You don’t need to. People who do that are insecure about not knowing something.

5. Most likely they don’t know them self so they embarrass you instead of them admitting, they’re just repeating something they was also told to them.
   Someone who knows the answer would happily explain to someone who doesn’t.

6. “I asked because I like to learn and grow. You should try it sometime.”

7. How could you not know ? /s

8. As a shamer, just ignore them. If you really don’t know something ask in a polite way and if someone shames u for it then let them be. You’ll know their a dick

9. “It’s normal, I’m not Google.”

10. Some good responses already, but I’d like to add “nobody knows anything until they’re told”

11. Tell them to f**k off

12. It’s understandable that being shamed for not knowing something can be really discouraging, especially when it comes to asking questions. One way to respond in the moment is to calmly assert your right to learn by saying something like, “Everyone has to start somewhere, and I’m here to learn, not to be judged.” You can also deflect the negativity with a bit of confidence by saying, “I may not know it now, but I’m always eager to learn.”

    If you feel comfortable, you can address the shaming directly by saying, “I’d appreciate it if we could focus on sharing knowledge instead of making others feel bad for asking questions.” This not only sets a boundary but also shifts the focus back to a more constructive conversation.

    It’s important to remember that everyone is on their own learning journey, and asking questions is a sign of strength and curiosity, not a weakness. Don’t let others’ reactions prevent you from seeking the knowledge you deserve.

    If you’d like to talk more about how to handle situations like this or need support in building your confidence, feel free to reach out to me privately. I’m here to help!

13. You might just be embarrassed. someone explaining something to you isn’t always shaming, even if it sometimes feels that way.

    Buuuuttttt…. if they are truly being mean then a simple “Well I didn’t know that but now i also know you’re an asshole” may suffice. Don’t expect them to ever explain anything to you again though.

14. Remind yourself that these ppl suck. If you have the energy, aak them what it’s like to carry the burden of knowing everything. Life must be so hard for them. Lol

15. Just let it go, take the high road. Resorting to their level to “get back” makes you as bad as them

16. i just keep asking “why” until they realise how arrogant they sound- so I get them to overexplain to the point where they sound silly