I already know I’m going to get a ton of hate for this but I met an incredibly intelligent, super cool girl today. She’s a new hire at work. I immediately noticed how gorgeous she was so I introduced myself and sparked up a conversation. I was stunned by her intelligence and became even more attracted to her. We flirted back and forth then she asked me how old I was and I told her I was 30. She was surprised as I do not look 30, especially clean shaven. I asked her the same question and she said she was 18. I was stunned and didn’t believe her. But she actually whipped out her ID and sure enough she is 18.
The thing is it did not make me unattracted to her. I still felt the same. We continued to flirt until she got off shift when she gave me her number and we texted later that night. I feel very wrong though, but should I? She seems very emotionally mature and we have a lot in common actually despite being at different stages of our lives. I really want to pursue this further but I feel like a bad person if I do. Am I a bad person if I do?
23 comments
Slow down bro. You fell in love after knowing her one work day AND she’s 18?!
Take a breath. She probably is just being friendly. She doesn’t know anyone yet.
Don’t get your hopes up. “Seems emotionally mature” doesn’t change the fact that she’s basically still a child, and you’re in your 30s. There’s a strong chance she’s not interested in a relationship with some so much older than her. Or someone she just met.
Uh… she’s a coworker and way younger than you. 18 and 30 is a lot different than 50 and 38. Or even 40 and 28.
But hey, if you don’t care about your job or your reputation, then go for it!
You would be a bad person if you pursued this.
Gross
Don’t see a problem if you treat her respectfully. She is an adult woman and can decide with whom she wants to have contact and with whom not. Go for it!
Oh lord. The fact you’re trying to justify it as well 🤢 “she seems very mature” what the hell is wrong with you? That comment alone makes you seem incredibly creepy. I’m sure there’s women that are 20+ around you, right? Why go for the kid? (Going from 17 to 18 doesn’t instantly make things better and legal OP)
Please for the love of God do not go through with this.
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Why are men my age going after 18–year-olds? Like did the millennial population just like never grow up or like learn from our like mistakes by watching our parents? Like when you were growing up did you not watch your dad or mom flirt with younger people when they went to the grocery store or was that just me like my parents and then together like four years but my dad was always like get cheeky with 18-year-old. You leave that there at 30 you should not be pursuing an 18 year old. Think about it like in what realm do you guys have anything in common? Like think about that you will be joining AARP when she has her dirty 30th birthday party. Or like I know that Dad‘s being super extra and embellishing the situation however come on what do you have in common at this point you guys are like 12 years apart. Just leave the girl alone get someone your own age and MoveOn love of God
Redditors are quick to “RED FLAG” “CREEP” “BREAK IT OFF”, and its disheartening to see. You do you man, yes you will be judged and seen that way but has that ever stopped the other thousands of people getting together with someone younger than them? An age gap should be the least of your worries.
This is coming from a guy who’s parents have a 40 years age gap that were married for 20+ years until my dad passed on.
I’ve had a little look at your post history, based in Arizona I assume? Isn’t the legal age of consent there 18? So you are 30 and see absolutely no issue with crossing that line with a girl who is quite literally barely legal? No moral objections to that at all? Seriously? You’re 12 years older than this girl. What could you possible have in common with her?
This is just all types of wrong, OP. Granted she’s the age of legal consent, barely, but there’s places in the world where the legal age is 14/15 ffs. Imagine you were in one of those places, something tells me you wouldn’t stop…
Is there perhaps a deeper reason as to why you can’t gel with women you’re own age? You’ve said repeatedly in replies how much you like how dirty this makes you feel and comfortable you are with it, and how, morally, you seem to think there’s nothing wrong here… Something tells me this isn’t the only much younger girl you’ve had in the past, am I right? I’m gonna go ahead and say that I really don’t think you’d give a shit if this girl was a year or 2 younger. You prefer younger girls don’t you? You’re a groomer, that’s exactly what you are. A predator. The type of pervert that mothers and fathers warn their children about.
I hope you do go forward with it tbh, and I hope that like every other young girl, she can’t keep her mouth shut, and eventually everyone finds out that the creepy 30 year old man loves being with girls who can barely consent.
You’re a disgusting human being, OP.
As far as I have gotten in the comments, people seem to judge a situation based on bias or their own experiences, I mean, if you don’t care about other people looking at you weird and you don’t care about your career and she doesn’t care as well I don’t see a problem. But most likely you should still make sure you know what you are doing, she may have not been flirting at all… But based on what you said I’d say go for it
Girl starts at work and is nice to you. Jesus bro calm down. Also it’s noncey as hell. Sorry it just is. She was legally a child months ago.
She is 18 years old she is not mature, her brain is not even fully developed. Leave her alone, she’s a bloody young innocent teenager for god’s sake. You’re a full grown arse man.
I have a friend who is only into older dudes. She’s very mature and intelligent. She was dating a 30yr old when she was 19, and it was a healthy relationship that ended amicably. So yes, sometimes it’s a weird, creepy situation, other times it’s a genuine thing.
Just do whatever the hell you want and stop overthinking it and asking virgins on Reddit what to do.
I really do not understand the hostility here. Frankly it’s ridiculous. Is she young, yes. But she’s still a grown ass woman. I expected people to say the age difference is too great but not for people to accuse me of horrendous things. Y’all don’t know me and you should be ashamed for saying some of the things you have said. I thought about deleting this post but I won’t because a few have actually given good advice and constructive criticism. For those who have made completely ridiculous assumptions about myself I just don’t understand. She is an adult at a job you have to be 18+ to be able to work so I knew she was an adult. Some of you act like I was at the local high school looking to pick girls up. You’re the one who are gross for taking it to that place.
“Whoa, camel! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, camel! Whoa! Oh, come on, camel, whoa!”
All 18yr Olds that make posts here about their controlling, domineering older partners say this…**he told me in the beginning that I was much more mature for my age**. It’s a standard, classic line that all creeps use to reel the teenager in by boosting their self confidence while simultaneously justifying their own creepy behaviour. A person can be mature for an average teen but that doesn’t make the actual adult right for pursuing them.
I see so many people giving advice here on why it’s wrong. Fk it, just go for it if you really want to. You know the risks about workplace and the age difference. So what, is it not worth trying? I assume 99% say it’s wrong and 1% say it’s okay. Why would you listen to a bunch of randos on internet anyway. Everyone here is talking here about “doing the right thing”. Fk it, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, do it if you want. This can backfire, this can work out. People might think this is immoral but I don’t. People will always hold you back and tell you not to do something. What really matters is what you think and what you value.
TLDR: don’t listen to bunch of randos on internet, including me 🙂
Ask yourself, how much do you like your job?
This is a huge age gap and your at very different places in life. You already sound unhealthy in how attached you are to the idea of her. Chill. If SHES interested let HER lead the ENTIRE time and even then consider how unbalanced this relationship will always be. I wouldn’t pursue her.
Do not. Find someone your age, this is disturbing the fact that you are even thinking about it and still trying to pursue it.