Culturally, if a man of this certain age behaves like this in American culture is it frowned upon?

34 comments

1. All of those are massive red flags, sort yourself out bud

2. can’t or won’t????

3. It would be frowned upon if they couldn’t do those things at age 18.

4. >can’t wash the dishes

   Everybody *can* wash dishes. It’s not a task that requires any skill or knowledge. He’s just too lazy and childish to perform basic household tasks.

5. That would very much be referred to as someone who doesn’t have their shit together.

6. Is this person disabled? I would assume so.

7. If he was mentally disabled and required assistance to do basic tasks it would be sad but understandable. If he is mentally normal and can’t do them he’s got a huge problem. He’s very developmentally stunted. Even teenagers should be able to do all of those things.

8. Yeah that is frowned upon and is called a mamas boy or a NEET.

9. Yes, if man of that age isn’t well experienced with all of those things, he is definitely frowned upon. Unless he has some sort of debilitating medical reason for his lack of personal development, he would be seen as a massive loser.

10. the driving license is frowned on in dominant culture, but also regionally. a lot of people in nyc don’t have license but everyone in wyoming does …

    but a lot of men will not clean or cook because they think it’s a woman’s job so in those groups it’s not frowned upon

11. Yeah, that would be frowned upon, that’s pretty bad. Why are they unable to take care of themselves? I would assume there is something wrong with them.

12. Not having a license might not be a big deal – it depends where they live/grew up. In a large city that makes sense because having a car is more of a hassle than it’s worth with finding parking and traffic.

13. It’s frowned upon, yes.

    Dishes and laundry are common household chores and you should know how to do them. If you don’t, then all your dishes will be dirty and your clothes will stink. Neither is good. These are non negotiable.

    I took a good while getting my license but it was still expected that I *would*, y’know? Unless you live in a city with extremely good public transport (or at least public transport that gets you everywhere you need to go), you should have a driver’s license, also because there aren’t many other ways to verify your age at bars. We don’t have ID cards, driver licenses are basically the go-to way to identify yourself unless you have a passport on you.

    As for frying an egg- pretty much entirely negotiable. If you mean you don’t know how to cook eggs at all, then I’m shocked because you should at least be able to smash an egg in a pan and make scrambled eggs. For frying an egg, I’ve never done it, and nobody in my family has ever bothered to do it, but if you feel like you have absolutely no way to figure out how to fry an egg, that’s definitely a red flag. Your answer should, at worst, be ‘I’ve never tried’ and not ‘I have no idea how’.

14. Driving might be a geographic issue. For example, if you grew up in Manhattan, you probably don’t drive. But everything else, the dude is either dumb as a brick or is a full on lazy bum (hint : it’s this one). Who the fuck can’t fry an egg? Just make the pan hot and crack the egg into it.

15. yes, but it’s not uncommon.

16. I only know how to do eggs two ways. Sunny side up or scrambled. Why? I don’t like plain eggs. My kids don’t like eggs. So no need to learn.

    I would say it’d be strange for a man not to know how to wash dishes or use a washer/dryer.

    Driver’s license is location dependent. You could live your entire life in NYC and not have any need for a license. But I think that’d be unusual, especially nowadays when people travel so much.

17. Yes, it’s frowned upon, and rightfully so.

18. Yes, we’d mostly assume something was wrong with him. Very few women would be interested in dating a guy like that.

19. these would be considered the absolute baseline of human skills for a man or woman older than about 16.

    the drivers license one will vary depending on location. I would say drivers license or ability to independently get around on public transit.

20. I would say this is more common amongst the older generation who were raised to think women, specifically their wife, were responsible for cooking, cleaning, doing the dishes, etc. One of my grandfathers is like this and it’s hilarious sometimes just do to how idiotic the mindset is. I’ve cooked for the man when I was a child and the fact he couldn’t even operate an oven just astounded me at that age.

    I was raised by women, so to me, they are something everyone should know how to do. However, I would say this can go both ways as well. My sisters were never taught to fix a car, change a lightbulb, woodworking, etc but I was. Again, pretty dumb, and this weaponized incompetence isn’t something just reserved to men imho. There is this weird underlying belief in each sex being more able to learn and do certain tasks.

    Now not having a driver’s license at 25-30 is just….odd if you live outside of the inner city. I would say most Americans get their license between the ages of 16-18, though I had an ex who didn’t get hers until she was 23 because she was scared of driving.

21. I’d imagine that he spends all day in his basement bed room typing edgy shit on the Internet and yelling at his mom because she let the pizza rolls get cold
    before she brought them down to him.

    He also likely is upset about how women don’t like nice guys and are superficial gold diggers that only care about a man’s job.

22. If you are a veteran who lost your arms serving your country then we will have nothing but respect for you and accommodate you to the best of our ability. If you have arms then 25 years is long enough to figure out how to use them.

    Every single man age 25 or older (who doesn’t have a mental disability) is entirely capable of every task you listed. They are just lazy and use a thing called, “weaponized incompetence,” to manipulate people into doing things for them. We do judge these men but unfortunately not nearly as much as we should.

23. Are we using “fry an egg” as an example of can’t cook? Or are you just particularly concerned about eggs haha. Like if you can’t fry an egg I wouldn’t mind but if you can’t make yourself anything besides cereal then yeah that’s frowned upon

24. 25-30? Not really frowned on, but definitely sneered at (quietly) and considered to be not just un-dateable, but un-marriable. Red flag forest there. I suppose there are some women who like a project, but not many.

25. My dad is 77 years old and still cannot fry an egg.

26. If you’re from a big city where there’s good public transportation, you might not have a license, but you should know how to do the other things by the time you’re about twelve. That’s basic stuff.

27. I think anyone like that should be thrown to the dogs as a failure unworthy to continue dragging down the gene pool.

28. Yep, if you can’t do any of those things at that age, you’re basically useless. In what cultures is being that useless at 25-30 considered okay?

    Edit 1: assuming no disabilities of any sort.

29. Definitely frowned upon if you are not disabled. If you are disabled, we understand that you may have different abilities and you get a “pass” based on circumstance.

30. Up to 25 maybe.  Like if they went from sheltered household to dorms.  But if you are out on your own fucking youtube.  Hell, blue apron is always trying to give free samples.  Also not a lot of places you can get to without a car.  Does he have a bike and live close to work,?

31. There are legit reasons why someone might not have a driver’s license. They live some place like NYC. Medical reasons. I am.sure there are others.

    The rest?.They pretty much have to be bed-bound.

32. Not having a driver’s license is fine. I don’t have one either. I know lots of people who don’t have one. Nothing to be ashamed of.

    As for the other three, I’m assuming the man isn’t disabled based on context, so I think it’s fair to say he just has a terminal case of “Lazyitis.” I don’t fashion myself a judgmental person, but frying an egg, washing dishes, and doing laundry are things I was able to do when I was a child. They’re not at all difficult. They just require an inkling of effort and a dash of knowhow easily available on YouTube for free.

33. You mean all the things I have known since like middle school?

    And with eggs? I do it better than you. Come at me bro.

34. I admit i don’t *know* how to fry an egg, even if I can guess, but I hate the flavor and smell of eggs, so that’s not exactly a problem in my life.

    If I really needed to, I’m sure I could find a guide online, assuming my intuition wasn’t sufficient.