I (41M) personally have never wanted kids. I do not think I'm really equipped to be a father, and I don't think I'd want to bring a child into this world. Having said this, I don't hate kids, and I'm 100% ok with being a mentor or friend (within limits).
When dating in the past, I've pretty consistently avoided women with children, especially young kids that might automatically see me as a father figure, but as I get older I recognize that I'm significantly narrowing my dating pool. I think I might be ok with dating a woman with older kids given they're more mature and able to have a non paternal relationship with an older dude without the automatic assumption that he's 'dad'.
I've talked to a friend about this and she usually says something along the lines of 'bad men don't worry about this, the fact that you're worrying about it means you'll be conscientious enough with her kids that you'll be fine'
What has been your experience with this? How did you manage the relationship between your partner's kids? Was the relationship with the kids a positive for you and them even if the relationship with her ultimately ended?