So me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year and a half. Atm the space we’re in is healthy. For a year or so we clashed quite a lot and myself and her bestfriend don’t get along. I felt she had no respect for me, as there was a time I went on my gf’s phone and saw messages between her and her bestfriend encouraging unfaithfulness, which caused a bigger issue and since my gf told her how I reacted her bestfriend has continued to talk shit about me.
A week ago her bestfriend messaged me saying she wanted to let me know she was planning to bring my gf to Cyprus with her in 3 weeks as an early birthday present (my gf’s birthday is in September.), and if I wanted to pay for half of the flight ticket (£265). As her bestfriend has a house out there they wouldn’t need to pay for accommodation. Bear in mind for the past month or so me and my girlfriend have actively been looking at holidays and I planned to surprise her. She added, ‘you obviously don’t have to pay so i’ll either get her friends to chip in or pay it all myself.’
Now, me being dumb rushed into the decision and agreed to giving her half the money of the flight ticket. I felt conflicted agreeing because of my grudge against this girl but I thought it was a nice gesture and I know my gf’s wanted to go on holiday for a while so thinking about her, I said yes and told her to let me know when she wanted to book.
3 hours later she sent me a screenshot of a flight booking, for 10 nights in Cyprus – my gf literally cannot stay away from home for longer than 5 nights or her anxiety gets really bad. The dates she booked for also clash with both my gf’s cousin and our close friend’s birthday. I was confused as to why she didn’t let me know before she booked it but I left it anyway. She also messaged me today telling me her cousin, his two friends, and one of their gf’s (none of these are people I know) are flying out there too and have a hotel room on the end of her road so they’ll be meeting up a lot.
After days of thinking deeply, I’ve come to the conclusion I don’t want to give her half the money. I don’t like her bestfriend. I’ve felt disrespected by her in the past. Yes I shouldn’t have agreed to but I don’t believe it’s the right thing to do. I’ll never stop my gf from going holiday but I don’t feel right contributing to something I know I’m going to be uncomfortable with. I’m aware it’s worse now as I didn’t say this in the first place, but is it too late? How can I put it across without seeming salty? Or do I stick to what I agreed on and pay her? It probably will cause an issue if I don’t but my pride is really leaning me towards doing so. Any help?
TLDR; my gf’s bestfriend that doesn’t like me booked a surprise holiday for them and asked me to pay for half of my gf’s ticket, I agreed, and now I don’t want to go through with it
3 comments
that’s a tough situation. note to self – the relationship with the bf is likely going to get more turbulent once you back out.
first, you need to let her know asap – like right now. tell her you’re already planning something for your gf and that this holiday might be better as a gift from her friends since they’re going through the trouble of planning and booking everything and you don’t want to take away from it. try to flip it in a way that benefits them or makes them look better to your gf for the least resistance.
>Now, me being dumb rushed into the decision and agreed to giving her half the money of the flight ticket.
Thank you for admitting it.
You are legally bound to give her the money. But it would cost so much to sue you, she’s only gonna complain. I would tell her this:
>10 nights in Cyprus – my gf literally cannot stay away from home for longer than 5 nights or her anxiety gets really bad. The dates you booked for also clash with both my gf’s cousin and our close friend’s birthday. I’m confused why you didn’t let me know before you booked it so we could coordinate. I can’t pay for that knowing it’s a planning disaster. I know you’re gonna hate me but we can talk it out after y’all get back.
Alternatively, WHY AREN’T YOU INVITED????
Tbh if i were you I’d brake up with my girlfriend. She and her bestfriend texting about unfaithfulness and she dissent comment or says that’s wrong? Don’t hurt yourself bro. A good partner should never let his/her other have this feeling off discomfort, even if it’s by a friend meaning.
Sorry for bad English..